Saturday, October 30, 2010

if only i could turn back time...

If only I could turn back time, I wanna put things back into the right place. I would change myself to become a better person. 

If only I could turn back time, I wanna be someone very useful and build my confidence in order to become exponentially successful in my life. For me, confidence is key for success.

It's not that I'm not grateful for who I am right now, or how unsuccessful I feel my life is, but I have a hunch that I should have become someone better, someone much more of uses for people around me. For real, I'm not an ordinary person like those average people you can see.

It doesn't mean that I am an alien, who came from an outer space, and went into a stupid disguise as to invade this planet, nor the other better interpretation; an extraordinary person (someone genius or glamorous). Of course not dude. That's way too far from the line of truth. I'm not extraordinary. I'm not just the girl next door. That's why I really want to go to the past very badly in order to change myself. I wanna be like Doraemon, a wise robot who can invent the time machine (it's just a fantasy, though). I wanna bring about changes in my life. If only I've got the power. 

   feel like hitting my head at the wall rite now... argh!

But then again, it's a useless saying. I have got no power to turn back time. Time is beyond our control. Once it passes, it passes. There'll never be rewind or replay, like we used to do with video tapes/ dvd/ vcd. There is no CTRL+ Z in  reality. You can't just undo the things you have done.

There's no way that it can pause or stop; it keeps on revolving. We got no power to control time. We can't turn it back, nor go to the future. In fact, even if I could invent something like time machine and go back to the past to change things I wanna change, still there is no guarantee that I would succeed in improving things in my life. 

Maybe, it could even be worse and I may cause more damages to my life and also people around me, whom I care the most. Some things happen for reasons, some may happens out of misguidance or mistakes. Some may happen due to misunderstanding or foolishness. Some things just have to happen. It's what we call destiny. 

"... and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily, These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.." ~Surah Luqman~

If only I could turn back time, so could others. Many will get the chance to grab their forsaken dreams and hopes. Many will get the chances to complete things they haven't completed yet. Many would be able to make themselves and their life better. Many good things can be done. Yes, many. 

Still, it won't happen. That's why those who'd died could never come back to life. That's why those who had committed sins and eventually died could never return to life and to redeem their wrongdoings. Unless if you're alive, and you realize what have you done is sinful, and you repent (bertaubat) on it, then only it would make a difference. 

Allah s.w.t. had given all His gifts (karunia) to us human beings (whether we realize it or not) to help and guide us through this life so that we will be able to live very well and comfortably. Still, we can't seem to live our life under the God's will, for instance, by living the way every Muslim should live.  The utmost priority for us muslimin is to make Islam as the way of life, that is, to embrace Islam as a whole. We must adopt every single rule of Islam and implement it in our very life.

Nevertheless, it's much easier said than done. Actually, the uncomfortable feelings in our heart is due to the sins we do. The more sins we do, the blacker the heart is. Each sin we commit will mark a dot; a black dot in our heart. This dot is so small until we cannot even see it by using electron microscope. Apatah lagi kalu guna kanta pembesar mahupun spek mata @ goggle. 

The size is much much smaller than those nanodots which are of nano-scale size. That is why it cannot be seen by the naked nor the dressed eyes (eyes on sophisticated equipments). The blacker the heart the fragile it will become, and the more fatigue crack growth it'll have. Someday, the heart can be broken and scattered like the pieces of the broken glass. 

That's all. To all my dear friends who get the chance to read this mediocre entry, feel free to correct things I said if any of my words/phrases are found to be wrong. I'm just an ordinary human with extraordinary wishes and dreams. I also tend to make mistakes, be it intentionally or not. Hope I didn't repeat the grave mistake ever again.  Peace in Islam...

tetibe windu plop kat goldie ngan bubu.... miss you all.. 


farah che wan said...

if all of us could turn back time,first thing first is correcting the previous one to be a beautiful moment in our heart. but, this is impossible for us. don't be down coz whatever we had done in the past will be guide us in doing better in present and becoming day..;D

Jαnnαhツ said...

yes, that's right. we could never return to the past. hm, it's true that we must learn from the past and reminisce all good times of our life.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.