Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Life as a heaven



"I thought I've done something good to those people, but in the end it turns bad that someone turns to be hating me".

Have you ever experienced this? I really don't get it. Now is the examination time. And problems keep flourishing. My heart and mind is no longer focused. Instead of focusing on something very crucial, trivial things like this makes me even suffocated. Oh, Gosh! Help me comprehend this life. My life has always been a mess because of things like this. I'm getting tired of this. I think the way to overcome this endless stuff is by isolating myself from the people around me and living in my own world of loneliness and melancholy. I make friends because I cannot stand being alone. All alone.

I also believe that everyone feels the same. And I think this is something normal. Everyone experiences that. No one will be able to stand being alone, without a friend. However, these kind of things make me wonder, why do we have to make friends if we were the one to be torn in the end. These trivial things(I call it trivial coz it is somewhat childish) had always made me sad and sometimes mad.


Like what have been taught in the class, when we linger around we tend to meet many kinds of people. Some other times, we must bear with them and we don't even know that maybe they themselves cannot bear with our own behavior. Life's always like that. Full of unprecedented things. Sometimes, when people get hurt because of us, we tend to feel very guilty but the feeling cannot be expressed in words. As for me, I got sadder coz things like those can even make someone shed the tears.

Oh Lord. I'm so down. I think everything I've done had hurt so many people. What should I do? I'm now blurred, having a thinker's block.

Sometimes, people tend to misunderstand the scowling of my face. I acted like that for it has become some kind of habit. Unbreakable habit. I still don't get it. I'm getting so irritated over nothing.


Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Malam BBQ di PT dot dot dot dot

Pada malam 14 April 2010, Rabu, berlangsunglah satu acara gilang-gemilang bertempat di PT ****, Desa Anggerik. Kami berlapan bersepakat untuk membuat satu aktiviti gempak yang telah sekian lama direncanakan untuk malam tersebut iaitu barbeque. Antara juadah kami malam ni sudah pastinya ayam, frankfurter, dan juga jagung. Minuman yang disediakan ialah koktel dan juga jus kismis yang lazat lagi menyegarkan. Lihatlah suasana meriah lagi gamat yang menyinari acara kami malam tu.


Homemade marinated chicken.

Ha, jagung pun ader...




Ayam-ayam yang sedang dibakar.
Kentang pun ade gak.





This post is specially dedicated to Izzah, Dzilal, Ira, Farahiyah, Ain, Thirah, Jannahheaven, and Shima...... G00d luck for final exam. May we all be blessed by Allah s.w.t.

Ameen.

p/s: Thanks you all for the lovely night :) Lain kali, kita buat lah lagi acara sebegini..(oh, ter"skema" pulak ayat aku ni...Hihi~)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

loneliness


This quite recently, I experience some problems to sleep. And even if I sleep, there would be moans and groans and mumblings and babbles. I find it hard to get to sleep. This thing really matters me this moment, and I hope I can find solution to the never-ending sleeping story. Nowadays, I got tired easily, being grumpy and cranky easily. Alas, so many bad feelings lah. Some other time, I shall be so melodramatic. I got into the flow of melancholy; with those weird thoughts lingering around. I can even suddenly shed my tears, which were then trickle down these chubby cheeks.The reason behind the cries are sometimes unexplainable(it's hard to explain you know.)

Owh, Lord. Why am I facing this ordeal?

Why am I feeling so weak, so not energetic to go through these vigorous days?

Why I always feel so down and helpless, feels like screaming in a crowd but no one
is listening?

O' Lord. Gimme some guidance so that this tiny little brittle heart be at peace.

O'Lord, give me some spirit to walk my days with endless passion and never-ending trust.

O' Lord, make me stronger and resistant to any intimidation and harms.

I'm so weak, so fragile, so vulnerable.

I'm so dependent on you.

Ya Allah, You won't burden your slave unless with something that he can bare with.

Yes, that's so absolute.

So certain. So firm and rigid.

Yes, the absolute TRUST, BELIEF and HOPE to Allah will bring you theabsolute
repose and peace in your life.

May Allah bless me and you.

ameen....

Short leave to flora damansara


Phuh, setelah sekian lama sepupu aku ajak pegi umah dia, akhirnya harapan murni ni terlaksana. Berangkatlah seorang aku ke KL sentral di petang sabtu. Hm, ramai dowh. Well, weekend la katakan. Dala tren lambat bak siput. Penat aku berdiri tegak kat situ. Gaya dah macam nak nyanyi national anthem jer. Then, naik la tren. Ramai! So aku pun terus berdiri smpai kajang kot, baru dapat duduk. Lega. 
Sampai Kl sentral jumpa cousin UKM ku. Naik la tren ke tman bahagia. Then, my other cousin pick us up.  Yang tak boleh blah tyme anak sepupu aku tu pandang aku lalu berkata, "Sapa ni Mama?" Biasalah, sebab aku ni kan jarang bertandang ke rumah sepupu ku itu, that's why budak ni taktau. Lalu sepupuku menjawab, "Ni Mak Nor, sama macam Mak Su jugak," Mak Su tu sepupu UKM aku tu lah. Budak kecik tu pun cakap, "Nape tak cantik?" Ngiahhaha, tak cantik? Aku macam kelakar  jer bila dengar ayat budak tu. Bengang pun ada.  Tapi sabar je lah kan. Budak-budak tak boleh dibuat kira sangat. Diorang ni kalau dah nak bagi komen tu, terang-terang je cakap, tak ade nye nak pakai penapis. Budak-budak memang menakutkan coz diorang ni jujur. Terlalu jujur.



Budak terlebih jujur dengan sepupu maknya yang tak berapa nak cantik (-_-').
Lama-lama kamcing lah pulak ngan aku

Kitorang pun terus ke ikano. Urgk... lapao owh. Jalan2, pusing satu kompleks. Penat. Break makan rojax(u know what’s rojak?) Hm, tak habis seperti bese.Entah kenapa, sejak dua menjak ni, seleraku merudum. Makan sedap, tapi tak habis. Lapo tapi xterasa nak makan. Makan pun dua tiga suap, cukup. Then we go roaming the complex. so many people meek that place. At 9 pm, makan steamboat. Fuh la maak, pedas dowh! Berasap telinga. Ada mak long,kak long ,kak teh, bang zairi, bang man, sa, bang ji, ammar , alia dan si kecik damia. kecik2 cili padi. hehehe. Berkumpul ramai2. Seronok. Aku tak makan la ketam atau udang. tapi makan ikan jew. Sedap. Then lewat malam tu, after sampai kat flora damansara, makan burger lak. Isk2, perut buaya betul la. Tak kenyang-kenyang... hehehe.. makan 1/2 saja. Jgn terkejut.Malam itu, dek perut yang kenyang dan badan yang keletihan, aku terus tido sampai pagi. Huhu...


Then pagi ni, aku amik keputusan nak balik sekali ngan KAK SA. Well, takut nak balik sensorang. wuwu~ Mak long ngan kak long cam kecewa aku balik awal sangat. Tu lah, aku lagi sedey. Nak stay lama nanti kerje xabih2. Kelas pulak rabu ni. Kawan2 nanti rindu-rinduan pulak.. hahahah... susah dowh. Aku pun balik la petang Ahad. Terpaksa merempuh lautan manusia dari KTM Taman Bahagia ke KL Central, lalu ke NIlai. Penat. Tapi tak per. Balik tu, KakLong tapaukan nasi tomato. Bleh gak buat dinner kat ADAM tuh, skali ngan bebudak ni... hihihih.. Ada masa aku nak pegi lagi (walaopun tambang nyer mahal la jugak...~)

Thursday, April 08, 2010

big girls DO cry





It's been a while. I was somewhat losing the interest in writing the blog due to some mood swing. The week was pretty hectic. Assignment, tests, and then assignment again. Those kind of things made me feel congested. What a suffocating world I'm in now! There is less than 2 weeks before the final exam and this really shivers me to my spine. Oh Gosh, I'm so nervous. Have you ever felt so packed with so many things in the mind till it is hard to breath? I even lost my appetite. Just now, I ordered something at the eatery but at the end, I didn't finish my meal. What a waste. I know it. I even experience some kind of unexplainable feeling when a friend told me that she heard me mumbling in my sleep. "Oxygen, oxidation number," I pronounced those things, in my sleep. SLEEP! Am I having sleeping disorders? I guess so. 









Last few days, I felt so down over nothing. Some time, I suddenly shed my tears, prompting my friends to be wondering, "Why is Jannah crying?" Yes, I was so sad. It gets easier to cry like a baby. That other day, I did cry like a child. My friends were all shocked and they were all stumbled upon my childish act. Well, the thing was that, I got so tensed over so many things that finally put me into a state of fragility, causing me to cry. What a pampered cute little lady we got here.








Life is like that; full of unprecedented events. We don't know what will happen tomorrow. No one knows. Only He knows the best. We don't know when we will die. So appreciate time in hand and do the best for our own sake. Innallahama'ana...

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.

Followers