Saturday, October 30, 2010

if only i could turn back time...

If only I could turn back time, I wanna put things back into the right place. I would change myself to become a better person. 

If only I could turn back time, I wanna be someone very useful and build my confidence in order to become exponentially successful in my life. For me, confidence is key for success.

It's not that I'm not grateful for who I am right now, or how unsuccessful I feel my life is, but I have a hunch that I should have become someone better, someone much more of uses for people around me. For real, I'm not an ordinary person like those average people you can see.

It doesn't mean that I am an alien, who came from an outer space, and went into a stupid disguise as to invade this planet, nor the other better interpretation; an extraordinary person (someone genius or glamorous). Of course not dude. That's way too far from the line of truth. I'm not extraordinary. I'm not just the girl next door. That's why I really want to go to the past very badly in order to change myself. I wanna be like Doraemon, a wise robot who can invent the time machine (it's just a fantasy, though). I wanna bring about changes in my life. If only I've got the power. 

   feel like hitting my head at the wall rite now... argh!

But then again, it's a useless saying. I have got no power to turn back time. Time is beyond our control. Once it passes, it passes. There'll never be rewind or replay, like we used to do with video tapes/ dvd/ vcd. There is no CTRL+ Z in  reality. You can't just undo the things you have done.

There's no way that it can pause or stop; it keeps on revolving. We got no power to control time. We can't turn it back, nor go to the future. In fact, even if I could invent something like time machine and go back to the past to change things I wanna change, still there is no guarantee that I would succeed in improving things in my life. 

Maybe, it could even be worse and I may cause more damages to my life and also people around me, whom I care the most. Some things happen for reasons, some may happens out of misguidance or mistakes. Some may happen due to misunderstanding or foolishness. Some things just have to happen. It's what we call destiny. 

"... and bear with patience whatever befall you. Verily, These are some of the important commandments ordered by Allah with no exemption.." ~Surah Luqman~

If only I could turn back time, so could others. Many will get the chance to grab their forsaken dreams and hopes. Many will get the chances to complete things they haven't completed yet. Many would be able to make themselves and their life better. Many good things can be done. Yes, many. 

Still, it won't happen. That's why those who'd died could never come back to life. That's why those who had committed sins and eventually died could never return to life and to redeem their wrongdoings. Unless if you're alive, and you realize what have you done is sinful, and you repent (bertaubat) on it, then only it would make a difference. 

Allah s.w.t. had given all His gifts (karunia) to us human beings (whether we realize it or not) to help and guide us through this life so that we will be able to live very well and comfortably. Still, we can't seem to live our life under the God's will, for instance, by living the way every Muslim should live.  The utmost priority for us muslimin is to make Islam as the way of life, that is, to embrace Islam as a whole. We must adopt every single rule of Islam and implement it in our very life.

Nevertheless, it's much easier said than done. Actually, the uncomfortable feelings in our heart is due to the sins we do. The more sins we do, the blacker the heart is. Each sin we commit will mark a dot; a black dot in our heart. This dot is so small until we cannot even see it by using electron microscope. Apatah lagi kalu guna kanta pembesar mahupun spek mata @ goggle. 

The size is much much smaller than those nanodots which are of nano-scale size. That is why it cannot be seen by the naked nor the dressed eyes (eyes on sophisticated equipments). The blacker the heart the fragile it will become, and the more fatigue crack growth it'll have. Someday, the heart can be broken and scattered like the pieces of the broken glass. 

That's all. To all my dear friends who get the chance to read this mediocre entry, feel free to correct things I said if any of my words/phrases are found to be wrong. I'm just an ordinary human with extraordinary wishes and dreams. I also tend to make mistakes, be it intentionally or not. Hope I didn't repeat the grave mistake ever again.  Peace in Islam...

tetibe windu plop kat goldie ngan bubu.... miss you all.. 

Friday, October 29, 2010

wrecking havoc

Recently, we had done quite a number of group work. Five members altogether. Also we had presented many of our case studies and also assignments, including metal alloy case study, principle tech case study, business plan, nano and supposedly halaqah. Just now, we'd completed our case study presentation for principle of chemistry technology, which I found to be such a havoc. I think I didn't give it all for the presentation. I was somewhat slurred while presenting my part.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


lega sangat-sangat sebab sudah selesai present metal alloy case study. tahniah kepada semua yang sudah selesai present dengan jayanya. syukur, syukur. and tak lupa terima kaseh kepada ahli-ahli kumpulanku Shima, Qadri, Ema, Farah and Atul kerana kerjasama anda semua yang tough, stiff, rigid, kuat and teguh, seteguh aluminium litium aloi (perghhh!) semalam, aku kalut giler sebab dua grup yg dah present seme ade sebut pasal processing metal. kitorang masa tu cuak kuasa lapan belas sebab langsung takde sebut pasal processing. dah la video pun tak cari. namun, mujurlah seme dah selesai. thank you all. love you all.

petang tadi lepas present, aku masuk kelas java demi sebuah test terakhir lab java semester ni. wallahi, susah sangat-sangat. sampai terkedu aku ngan dzilal. hahaha, kah kah kah. huhuhu.... test openbook, tapi dah open buku pun still tak boleh cari. betapa susahnya test tu sampai even boleh bukak buku pun masih terkial-kial mencari jawapan. lama kami bertapa di lab computer msc02, sampai jam 6.15 ptg. dari pukul 2 sampai 6.15 ptg. lama tue. sakit kepala sebab pikir banyak sangat. bak kata prof norita, java ni ibarat riadah minda. hm, aku rase lagi penat dari riadah kot.

kalau sapa-sapa perasan, seme pakai theme ala-ala pink  gitu
 (kecuali ema, off theme skit. takpe ema. ema jadi solo).

dari kiri, jannah, shima, farah, atul, ema, qadri

ni time aku ''berucap''. muka sedih gile. 
mujur pakai garment pink. kalau baju hitam
 mesti lagi gloomy. hahaha.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Introducing my precious and beautiful partners in our new business venture...   

From left : Dzilal, Athirah, Farah, Aku, Ema
for crying out loud

nantikan kemunculan kami di DEJAFU

Friday, October 22, 2010


hari ni, aku bangun dengan semangat berkobar-kobar demi menyiapkan case study PVC tu. bangun je terus mengadap laptop dengan tak bersarapan & muke penuh cuak sebab banyak keje nak kena buat . perut lapar tapi malas nak layan.  hoho. aku memang camni, kalu dah set aim tu mesti nak kena siap jugak. mana taknya, deadline assignment case stadi tu pukul 5 petang hari ni. mestilah nak kena siap jugak walau apa pun nak jadi. last-last, perut mula berkeroncong dalam pukul 11 pagi. wuhu, mealtime... tapi aku takde selera nak makan sebab dah niat nak siapkan dulu menda alah ni b3fore lari dari meja aku. setelah berjam2 mengadap laptop kesayangan, siap la jugak keja mengedit aku. dalam pukul 1.00 ptg baru siap. kepala dah stat pusing2 da, petanda awal migrain sebab perot kosong masuk angin. lepas smayam, aku pun pergi lah print. lepas tu, makan lunch(sorang-sorang) dengan lajunya. dah name pun dari pagi tak sentuh pape, terus wat keje, ngadap laptop berjam2, memang le lapao. sampai rase nak muntah dek makan lewat. perut kosong, pahtu sumbat makanan berat banyak2. camtu lah jadinye.


it was some kind of self-torture. hahaha, indeed it was i guess.  yelah, menahan hak perut untuk makan. semata-mata untuk menyiapkan kerja. yelah, aku takut lau aku lari dari keje, aku akan hilang fokus. tu je sebenarnya. konon-konon nak sekali harung je la. senang.

jangan la jadi macam ni. tak elok untuk kesihatan (speaking for yourself)

Monday, October 18, 2010

sifat tak puas hati tu bagus sebenarnya...

yeah. aku setuju dengan kata-kata itu. sifat tak puas hati ni, sekali dengar macam sifat yang negatif. tapi aku nak cita pasal sifat tak puas hati yang baik punyer. ape yer agaknya? sebenarnya, sifat yang aku nak cite ni ialah sifat tak puas hati dalam belajar. ha, tu dia!

bukanlah tak puas hati kat sape2 sebab dia lagi cun ke, lagi pandai ke, lagi hebat ke. tak! siyes tak. it's actually about not being complacent. okay, ape lak complacent tuh? hm, kalu merujuk kepada kamus, complacent maksudnya cepat berpuas hati dengan current state kita. cepat merasa berada dalam comfort zone. sebagai student, janganlah cepat merasa puas hati ngan apa yang kita pelajari. kalau kita terlalu berpuas hati, takkan ada improvement, takkan ada penambahan ilmu. that's why being unsatisfied tu very important. barulah ada drive nak belajar a.k.a bekerja. tak ke gitu?

bila kita tak puas hati dengan current state kita (sori sebab banyak merosakkan bahasa dengan rojak bahasa nie)  kita akan senantiasa cuba berusaha untuk ke depan dan bukan ke belakang. macam bila belajar, kita kene selalu belajar dan belajar. bukan nya lepas belajar, tido dan tido. (malu ngan diri sendiri). kita kena selalu improve kan diri kita coz just like what they say, there is always room for improvement. sebenarnya, bukan dalam belajar saja konsep ni bleh diamalkan. dalam apa-apa aspek pun boleh.

sekian. i just feel happy to write it as i can share my feelings with those who care. salam muhibah.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

when mood equals to zero...

tidak ber-mood untuk bekerja...

tonight after dinner, my mood for study is zero. i got no mood to study, nor to do assignments. i can't figure out why. gotta do something. wuhu~

searching for the remedy...

status....... idle.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

masalah bengkak otak

assignment + homework + test + presentation ⇨ cramp otak!!

this occurs as the result of all those suffocating things that happen in my life. well, it's not easy to be me..

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ - - -  Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ - - - - Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ 

biarlah orang nak kata ape pun, tapi sejujurnya inilah apa yang aku rase right this moment (ceh ayat tak ley blah). otak aku cramp gile skang nih, duk tengah pikir banyak sangat benda nak kena buat. dah la final dah dekat sesangat dah. bukannya nak stadi tuk final, tapi duk sibuk ngan assignment, present, homework, test. wargh!! habis lah aku......huhu~

▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ cReePy stUdent's LIfe pAnIC █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▃ ▂

okay, mari kita burukkan dan serabutkan lagi otak yang dah sedia berserabut dan serabai dengan mengimbas kembali amanat lecturer-lecturer kita pasal kerja-kerja yang mesti disiapkan sebelum final nih. Roll it on!

1) Test Thermodynamics (Chapter 10) 
Structured + Isi tempat kosong
2) Homework thermodynamics
3) Properties of Al-Li alloy as lightweight 
material in aerospace case study
4) Production of Chlorinated PVC - case 
study Prinsip Kimia Teknologi Dr Salina

5) Business plan (buat spa whatsoever)
 deadline before final

6) Test Nanotechnology
 (first week of study week, possibly Tuesday)

7) Lab test java (arghh...!!!)

8) Present halaqoh on Freemason


█ ▌▐▐ ▐ █ cRazy ▐ █ ▐▐ █ ▌█ ▌▐▐ ▐ █ lazy▐ █ ▐▐ █ ▌█ ▌▐▐ ▐ █ dizzy▐ █ 

phuh, no wonder la sejak dua menjak ni aku rase macam nak pitam je. sakit kepala, migraine, sakit perut. seme ade, bak kata orang; pakej lengkap yang menyumbang kepada hari yang sangat panjang aka bad day.

 ♫ coz we had a bad day....

 (imaginasi diri sendiri ngah nyanyi sambil petik gitar macam daniel powter).  la lalallala  lalalaa ..... (otak dah tak centred)..

tadi aku terjelopok mase before naik keta after kelas thermo. sebelum ni, rase cam nak collapse je tetibe. 2-3 minggu lepas, terjatuh kat depan dewan kuliah lepas kelas metal alloy. jatuh terduduk plak tu. lawak betul. ape kes ngan aku ni? kawan-kawan tumpang gelak je la tengok aku jatuh terjelopok macam nangka busuk. ade ke patot? isk, isk. mujur Mr K tak ade kat situ. kalu tak, jatuh saham aku. hahahaha... scandalous? maybe not.

  ❤          ❤

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

what a pain

Tadi pagi, aku bangun tidur dengan kepala yang berat. Malasnya nak bangun. Namun demi sebuah test yang bakal dihadapi, aku bangun lalu terus bersiap-siap untuk ke kampus. Selepas siap pape yang patot, kami bertolak ke kampus. Sampai je, aku ngan dzil panjat tangga ke bilik Puan Fatin kat 3rd floor FKP. Penat sket. Then aku duduk selama 2 jam mengadap paper java tue. Soalan tu susah jugak. Tapi  dah nama pun programming, mesti ar t0ugh.

Lepas je test, pegi turun nak beli lauk lunch. Tetibe je perot aku berkeroncongon. Memulas. Sakit..! Aduh.... cepat-cepat aku beli lauk. Pahtu menuju ke loitet/dantas (kacap terlabik). Woh, stomach cramp menyerang lagi. Belah kiri. Wuwu, ni mesti silap makan. Aku pun terpikir-pikir jugak la apa yang aku silap makan semalam. Oh, baru teringat! Sotong pedas... Ooooooo~~~~ pedas tak ingat dunia. Lada bersepah. Tapi sedap. Dasyat lah efek sutun pedas tu. 

❝ Siyes PEDAS owh !!❞ 

Masalah, masalah. Aku kena jaga pemakanan aku coz perut ni macam tak tahan pedas melampau. Nanti mula lah meragam. Tak senang duduk dibuatnya. Harap mulut jer selera besau, nak makan sedap dan pedas. Perut tak bleh terima menda pedas2. Urrr, tak sanggup aku sakit cenggitu lagi. Perut macam kena perah dlm mesin basuh. Mujur tak putus jer usus-usus aku. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~

fluffy buns ; not for sale kay?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

akhirnya tercapai hasratku

Alhamdulillah... dapat pun  benda yang aku cari selama nie. Semalam, masa gi window shopping kat ICEPS (Konvensyen Keusahawanan Islam) tu, try la jugak tengok-tengok jubah kat situ. Tengok punya tengok, belek punya belek, serba tak kena. Singkat lah, senteng la, ketat la. Ada yang dah berkenan pun alih-alih tengok lebar pulak masalah, tak pun yang lebarnya dah okay, labuh nya pulak tak kena. Yesterday was a very sad day coz I didn't seem to find the thing I've been searching for. Dahla geng-geng lain masing-masing pegang beg plastik polka dotted tu kat tangan and I was the only one who didn't buy anything.Dorang beli selendang, anak selendang, inner. Macam-macam diorang jumpa. Aku je yang tak dapat paper. Wuhu. Mestilah jealous, envious, sedih, marah, geram, bengang (seme ade la). Takpe, takpe. Semalam hari korang. Esok lusa tulat tobeng hari aku plak, uh....urgh (muka berkerut-kerut).

Then, today was the day. Hahaha! Dapat jugak aku rembat sehelai jubah hitam with pink embroidery. Cute and classy. hehe. Harga? Jangan tanya. Tapi kira okay lah coz tupun harga student kan. Kat luar lagi mahal la kot (tapi yang pastinya dompet aku rase kosong semacam jer lepas tu). Mujurlah muat saiz jubah tu ngan aku. Syukur, syukur. Bleh lah aku buat pakai nanti raya haji. Budak-budak ni pun seemed delighted ngan hasil shopping diorang. Balik je lepas shopping tuh, terus je buat fashion show. Masing-masing nak try baju @ tudung yang dibeli. Haha, siyes lawak. Tapi dah nama pun perempuan kan, macam tulah nature-nya. Suka berjangoks, atau dalam bahasa saintifiknya, melawa.

Mula-mula aku pakai, nampak besar gedabak jugak lah. Tapi after some alteration is done, it seemed just nice. Aku pin-kan sikit kat yang terbelah tue ngan brooch, maklumlah ni jubah abaya (eh betul ke ejaan tu? Main hentam je.) Jubah ni style sket, bagi aku lah. Aku ni kan old-fashioned, bak kata seorang sahabat. Tapi aku tak kesah, old-fashioned tak old-fashioned, asal aku bahagia. Har har har (gelak sambil buat muka keji ). aku ni kan classic, atau dalam kata lainnya, vintage. I am a vintage freelancer. Yes, I am. (Whatever).

Jubah yang dimaksudkan

Hiasan manik di bahagian lengan. Love it.
Bersedia nak tengok model jubah kita?
 trang tang tang... (drumroll)

Aaaah, tak payah tengok! 
Aksi gedik + happy gile dapat sarung jubah terpaksa di-delete
atas sebab daripada pihak penganjur. 

Friday, October 08, 2010

jamuan raya usim, meriah

sedapnye dapat makan. nyum-nyum....

uh uh, jamuan usim buat kat pavilion. lepas makan makanan
 bagai-bagai tu, blehlah buat marathon 3-4 lap bagi lemak cair. 
hahaha. idea tak leh pakai (gelakkan diri sendiri)

gembiranya kami dapat makan free lagi. hihihi~

akhirnya, dapat gak amik ayam panggang. 
seketul pun jadi.

dzilal: ala, bang. takkan seketul je kot? kami ni ramai.
aku: a'ah. agak-agak ah ajusshi. lapar ni.
izah: ish, tak cukup seketul nie.

muka-muka hepi slalu

ahli-ahli rumah ku yang kusayangi. love you all.

thirah the camera queen

termenungku sendiri

haha, tak prasan pun thirah amik gambo ni.
hihi, suke la. 

senyung sokmo puok puok nie (cuba
baca dalam slang ganu yang pekat)

tengok kaki, tengok kaki! haha, siyes lawak LOL.
cam bujang lapok.

langkah-langkah berwawasan para chemist kita

jom balik. dah kenyang

when the conscience compass does not point north

so where would it point to? 

seems like it is direction-less. 

i feel like i'm about to burst coz there  is 
a conflict between the things i got to do
and  some kind of treacherous feeling 
that deters me from doing it.

the feeling is disturbing and thwarting.

oh, gosh. i hate this.


what to do if your conscience is not 
working properly??
gotta get some remedies...


Thursday, October 07, 2010

a picture is worth thousands of words

dari kiri: aku, izah, ira, farah, ain, dzilal, thirah

wajah-wajah keceriaan selepas kelas halaqah ngan
ustaz sofwan. ni on the way nak gi jamuan. seme dah 
tak sabar-sabar nak makan. yieha!

padat oh!

   jamuan fst yang amat sederhana
(tema :berkelah under the sun)

  pose terbaik dariku. pergh, berilmiah gila 
time-time jamuan raya pun nak pegang buku.
thanks to thirah for this pic. hehe~

kami satu rumah, satu hati, satu suara, satu semangat
satu malaysia

     cet, lam kete depan umah pun nak amek gambar.  

tangga kejayaan kami

   nilah wajah-wajah kepenatan
penghuni pt 5651 selepas jamuan
fakulti sains teknologi

Sunday, October 03, 2010

raya sakan

feels like something's missing if i don't write in this simple blog of mine. that's why i wanna brag about last night event. we went to 3 open houses at selangor area. 3 kereta konvoi dari nilai ke selangor. kak aisyah steady je. si faizal tu drive laju giler. qayum pun sama. berlumba-lumba lak atas jalan raya tu. the road was jammed! huh, so tired yet so excited.

macam satu famili

2 kenari + 1 saga

ewah ewah atul, sempat lagi posing

makan-makan di rumah Zera (em, muka diputihkan
 dek kerana wajah sudah burn, jd macam xde 
rase mood raya; malu nak tunjuk kat orang hehe)

Senyum sengih renyih

rumah izwan

sekut raye (tak termakan pun)

last skali, element gedix yang slalu ade. hahaha.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.