Before I got to give my final answer to my friends, Dr Farah entered the class to continue lectures on Electrochemistry. I was sitting there with mixed feelings and lingering thoughts as I was struggling to find the best answer.
"Do I really have to go? It's too early for me,"
Come on la, what damage will it do if you make early preparation?
"Wouldn't it be embarrassing?"
What's there to be embarrassed? You're not committing any sins, nor doing something illegal.
"Do I have to go now?"
Yes, this is the golden opportunity. Come on dude. Do this while you got a plenty of time. Now or never!
"RM55 is a bit..."
A bit what? Don't say it's expensive. I'll kill ya!
At that time, everyone was looking at the slides as if they were going to 'eat' them. No offense but it's acceptable coz that subject is quite tough, with all the calculations and estimations, formulas so on so forth. When I was having the big struggle between my rational thinkings and the thwarting emotions, I came to a conclusion. I nudged my friend and I said this with a whispering voice,
"Aku jadi lah pergi kursus tu,"
There you go! Actually at first I got no intention, not even the tiniest and not even a tinge of interest to be in such a program. Maybe I was not ready and I felt being not prepared for such thing. I said yes because all my friends already had signed up and it was me only who didn't make up my mind yet and if I didn't say yes they would make faces at me like I'm a criminal! Sob, sob, sob. I have no courage to face the stare. Haha.
Nevertheless, I said to myself, "It's okay Jannah, just take it as a class for you to gain knowledge,"
Maybe I went to the program just because my friends asked me to, but at the same time, I got to gain new inputs, new ideas and new informations which can be applied in our daily basis.
On the first day, I thought it would be a boring seminar with boring speakers and boring modules. But the best thing about the seminar is that the speakers didn't stick too adhesively to the module given. Instead, they focused more on explanations and giving examples which I found most of them to be so effective! We laughed most of the time. It was a good way to ward off drowsiness.
All of my pre-assumptions were totally wrong. All of the ustaz who came from many places were very good in preaching. They didn't bore me at all and I was not feeling sleepy, not even once, throughout the day. Another thing is, they spoke about the THREE-LETTERED-WORD with slow tone and polite. They didn't use the word directly. They replaced it by using much better words to explain that particular thing because it is attributed as something taboo.
Topping it off, marriage is something fitrah (something thats fits our nature as human being) , something done by our Rasul we need to follow, something that fits with humans' life for the mutual benefits in the future, fiddunya wal akhiroh.
Everyone of us will someday have strong affection towards somebody special in your live. Everyone will feel the same. We must not deny the benevolent feeling created by
Allah between a man and a woman.
I hope I will have the chance to get married to someone who is created for me....
If Allah s.w.t wills it.