Assalamualaikum. Salam kedamaian.
Seriously I feel that things I'm having are really of Allah's plans. Because no matter I try to repel and dwell on past things, it never make me successful to deviate from this path. I'd already done istikharah as to make clearer decision on what I should do. The result showed that this is it! Twice I did the solat and it showed this path. This is the path I should take. It sure is bitter and painful, but it is made for me. I cannot go through the path I wish since the road is far and no one wants to support me. And one thing, I got no financial support for that one. Huhu. Sad, but its the truth.
Jangan fikir malang nasibmu itu, sedangkan ramai lagi manusia yang melata di atas muka bumi Allah ini yang mengalami susah jerih kehidupan. Fikirlah ini semua dugaan Allah supaya kamu dapat melaluinya dengan tabah dalam redha-Nya demi menemui-Nya di syurga nun jauh di atas sana. SubhanAllah!