Before this I felt so drained out. All my spirits my passion my drive were mangled by the sight of the thing I had never experienced. But now, I feel relived. I felt more relaxed. I can now accept this thing and make it my own little world--- albeit a bit shaky and non stable. We'll see it will be stronger day by day.
But sometimes I feel like this is not me. It is as if I'm being controlled from something within me. Someone who possess such a high patience and spirits. Someone who fears nothing. Someone who just go along with the flow with all her might and righteous fight. Yeah... am I being possesed? If yes, I like this possession. I like this new me.