Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Au contraire

Now all I want is to finish all these things and go on a spree. I must meet my target. Yeah. I must finish my master study asap. If only I can finish all things in a blink of an eye. Wow. Is that superpower that I'm thinking I should have had?

Everything's gonna be all right
Everything's gonna be okay

I'm speeding as to finish everything. I'd do anything to make things faster and better. I must say that I am so eager to reach the final stage of master study;  Writing.

I love writing. You know they say writing is a repulse against silence. Yeah. Allah will ease my life. Everything is gonna be okay. All right.

Monday, June 16, 2014

BFL 247

Somehow I feel like a big major fat loser. At times I feel so down that I wanna take a hammer and pound my head with it till I bleed. It's just crazy right?? Hurmmm.... Now  I am updating the reports on chitosan films. Somehow I feel like something is wrong with something. Though it feels like my mind is playing tricks, the intuition is somewhat strong.


Thursday, June 12, 2014


Hari ni hari yg sedih, awkward yet a tad magical.

Never do one know what he'll be committing tomorrow.  Says the Lord. So does with the thing which had happened to me today. I never expect I would be touching the scorching corelle plate this morning when I carelessly put the green-flowered plate just beside the hot wok I was using to fry an egg. Out of not knowing the plate was heated so hot that it could melt my skin, I grasped the edge of it so tightly, before a motor neuron was swooshing so fast bouncing from my spinal cord sending signal to the muscles of my right hand to let go the source of heat a.k.a the plate. It was fast, but not fast enough to avoid me getting any hurting blisters but fair enough to cause any farther damage of my right thumb. Thanks to the Lord who made me healthy with the ever functioning bodily neurological system.  If I was having paralysis on my hand, I could possibly suffer a second degree of burn which requires hospitalisation. Thank God it didn't get to that extend.

I was nearly teary when I showed the white bulging spot on my thumb to my sister. I asked her what did I have to do reduce the burning sensation that won't wear off. Miss-care-about-sister's-injury abruptly went on surfing the burning remedy on the net. I was thinking of spreading some soothing aloe vera which mom had planted in the front yard.  But then my sister said people put small amount of toothpaste to treat small burning at home. Yeah and that method did work! Err well at least for 30 minutes. After that my thumb went crabby.

I couldn't move it too violently or I'd suffer tremendous amount of pain. See how weak I am, having a small burning on my skin and already felt so uncomfortable that I'd rather spend my whole day dipping the hand in a bowl of ice.  Awwww.

Then I went to the lab as usual, trying to fight the excruciating pain. I even drove funny with right hand being a bit devastated.  This was when a magic happened.

I was listening to the radio regarding the month of Ramadan. And the ustaz in the programme said that it is haram to commit fasting after 15 syaaban. And I was taken aback. I have another fasting day to redeem and tomorrow is 15 syaaban! ! I was distraught. Then in that dire state of mine I suddenly heard a voice of a man making a phone call to radio asking le ustaz some questions. One of them was about whether or not he can brush the teeth using colgate after having sahur. And another question was sooo intriguing-he asked whether his daughter can perform fasting (puasa ganti) after 15 syaban and her daughter had one more day to complete puasa ganti!!!! See how Was the magical part working here? He asked the same question I was having in my head at that moment! Splendid. Seriously terrific! Ya Allah. Miraculous.

And the answer was okay for women who wants to puasa ganti anytime. What he was referring to before was puasa sunat (complementary/optional fasting). Yeah I was relieved.
After that I went to see how were my samples going in microbiology lab. Wow, it was splendid! 

So all in all, I get to be so happy because I receive dugaan and also nikmat in the same day.  Terima kasih Allah.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


Orang yang selalu melihat keburukan orang lain menunjukkan hatinya yang kotor dan busuk. Nauzubillah. Kerjanya ialah meng-highlight keburukan orang dan juga perkara kurang bernasib baik dalam hidup orang lalu dengan senang hati membuka mulut seluas-luasnya, gebang-gebang pasal tu biar satu dunia dengar. Lemas la dengan orang macam ni. Mende baik tak pernah diungkitkan. Menda buruk, sekecik-kecik zarah pun dia nak focus and zoom guna kanta pembesar. Hati2 nanti lama-lama terbakar dek kerana panasnya mentari akan sebabkan ignition due to the effect of using kanta pembesar. 

Memanglah, bukan senang untuk seseorang merasa bahagia dan berkongsi kegembiraan atas kejayaan atau nikmat orang lain. Tapi, belajarlah untuk menghargai orang lain dan cuba melihat kebaikan dalam diri orang lain. Selalulah bersikap positif. Jaga adab. Mulut pun jangan laju sangat tuturkan kata-kata. Fikir sebelum berbicara, atau baik remain silent. Kan lagi elok. Nabi kita pun larang kita daripada bercakap menda sia-sia, apatah lagi menda yang menyakiti hati orang lain. 

p/s: kalu kita sokmo tengok buruk orang lain, kita akan selalu merasa diri kita lebih baik daripada orang lain membuatkan kita tidak cuba untuk improve diri kita secara totalnya.

currently absorbed watching TBBT *the big bang theory* a geeky yet entertaining sitcom

Thursday, June 05, 2014

Crunchy at the Outside, Chewy on the Inside

Macam garang je. 

I may be looking a tad deadly serious on the face, but truthfully, if people try to approach and see who the real me is, they will be surprised. You see, do not judge a book by its cover. You don't know how crazy I can be and stupid I could act. Yes, for starters you may take me as someone who is serious but actually I could be the craziest person you ever know. 

The problem is, I do not open myself too much. I am more like that of a socially impaired person. LOL.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Expectation vs Reality

Embrace yourself. Prepare all your physical and mental portions to accept the reality of life. Life is not a bed of roses. Fantasy and dreams both are always sweeter than reality. What we expect to happen does not necessarily happen. Things do not always go our way - it's way beyond our meager control. Humans are weak, we are merely planners yet we don't always get to get things done our ways. We thought everything we do will be sailing smooth but at the end things can even turn sour and bloody. It's His way of making us realize how weak we are and how things are of His arrangements. 

Just like what happened to me last time. I was so ecstatic over the fact that we were gonna do antibacterial study. Yeay!! After somewhat good outcomes from cell study, we finally get to actually do this test. I dunno why but I was feeling determined to do all tests ASAP. When I was carrying out all the procedures, I was feeling so good. We were guided by a very reliable person. It feels so refreshing because I think I could do it. Then I was feeling over the top (a bit arrogant and big headed) because I could pull that off. Allah knows my bad heart condition so that was probably why He showed me some signs. 

At the end, it turns out that the thing do not actually work. Wrong method to be exact. Upon knowing that we were not doing it right, I was devastated. I had this sudden mood swing and became lost in thought. What could possibly the main reason for these mistakes to happen? I don't know. 

Well, it feels quite bad when I was being reprimanded over doing something according to rules! I was nagged upon things that I do under other's orders. Just imagine, I got told off when doing things in order, let alone if things are done according to my own ways. Duh why does it all have to turn out like this. These are all mixed up. There are so many mazhabs and fahaman in the lab that people tend to mix up things and confused. Just like me. Yeah, like me. 

Yeah, life is like that. Reality wont be meeting expectations so easily. There are hurdles everywhere!!!

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.