The social media has gone ablaze with the news regarding the growing angst over the fates of hiking number of flood victims. While here I am battling the catarrh (clotted nose and trachea with mucus) which made my day miserably uncomfortable. My larynx itches, my voice sores, and my head heats. Still it can't compare to the ordeals those people are having. Forgive me for I am no one but the citizen who cannot lay a helping hand except by praying to Him to alleviate the catastrophe. Let's all continue praying to Allah so that this flood soon recede and everything falls back to its place.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Monday, December 22, 2014
Of ICPE 2014 and everything that falls within the 6-day of hectic travelog (travelog lah sangat)
Wow, it was an arduous journey of my life. First onerous experience to go through was the 8-hour journey to Melaka in a horse-like van. Seriously, it was a bumpy ride. I hit my head so hard against the plastic window pane that I almost got migraine lolsss. I hardly slept during the journey. We all hardly slept during the hopping journey. It was tiring. Then, after 2 days staying at Melaka for ICPE 2014, I left for Nilai to stay in a friend's house before going to Athirah's wedding. So since it was Friday and nobody was home for a companion, I decided to go meet my sister at The Mines, Seri Kembangan. Sisters day out!!!! Yuhuuuuuuuuu *excited*. Also coincidentally, there was a huge books fair at MIECC and I sure didn't wish to miss that!!! I love books, although I am not an avid reader ngehngeh. After howling at MIECC which costed me bloated feet, I went back home and slept. When I woke up, I experienced this mild inflammation in my larynx, an early sign of impending fever. Ouch. The day at MIECC did drain all the energy off of me. Hello sore throat!
On Saturday, I had to wake up early to catch for a train to KL Sentral from where I had a transit to Jelatek. It was sooooo herculean. Having to drag the heavy luggage all the way through the morning in a constricting attire (read: baju kurung) was strenuous. It was not that burdensome if I didn't have to hurry and if I was not having any pre-fever syndrome. Muawhaahhaha. Okay scratch that. It was awesome to gather round with those friends from USIM. How we missed those days spent at USIM. How much we missed laughing together and hanging out together like a bunch of happy friends. Friends do make significant difference in your life. Treasure them, as much as you treasure your own life.
All in all, the seminar was quite boring (muawahhaha) but those moments spent with those guys really made a huge difference. Their presence somewhat soothes the boring effect of the seminar. Well, nevertheless, I did learn a lot from the seminar. It's a convention of academicians dude. It's good to finally mingle around with people of the same background who came from various walks of life. Everything was good. But there was this insufferable moment during my time at the seminar. During one of the tea breaks, there I was, waiting for my friends at the big round table when suddenly these 2 guys (read: Nigerians) were asking whether the seats were taken. After they sat, we changed pleasantries and had a light conversation regarding the conference and whatnot. I learned that they came from UTHM. Then we were joined by my other friends and the conversation was somewhat elaborated with more added members to the quorum. Just when we were about to leave, I heard a snide and asinine remark from a bunch of ladies beside our table saying, "Tak boleh rapat sangat dengan depa ni, takut nanti melekat," I was like WOW. Speechless upon hearing those remarks. Why are people now being racist???? What if you guys go to a western country and nobody would like to talk to you because of the headscarf on your head bearing sign of a terrorist? How would you feel then? Be professional lahhh. (mind your blood pressure Janah) Ok lets stop dwelling in the emotional turbulence shall we? Let these photos speak thousands of words!
After 1 hour ride from MITC Permaisuri Hotel to Banda Hilir, we stopped for a decent meal.
Then, we went SHOPPING!
Having fun picking those tiny cute souvenirs are we?
Behold the beauty of Banda Hilir bathed in bright neon lights
During the seminar at Universiti Teknikal Malaysia (UTeM)
Posing with the petite little friend, Fida.
Trio scientists from UMT
At UMBAI, Melaka. It was a nice hangout. All the seafood was tantalizing. Delicious!
Last day at UTeM...
Best presenter ever!! Prof Dr Latiffff (USM)
Bye bye Melaka!
Hello Big Bad Wolf!
Sister of mine who looks thinner and thinner day by day. Please eat more lahh Koyah!!
Burgeoning books cache
At the solemnization in Masjid Tilawah, KL.
Beautiful Athirah in white wedding garment
Alhamdulillahhhh... Wish you two happiness til Jannah
As what said by Ira, one down, six more to go! Wahahahhaha.
Hey fwenssss.... XOXO. Hugs and kisses yuolsss lama tak jumpa lepaskan rindu dengan bergambar yeayyy~
Last posing in front of Masjid.
I still remember hearing my friend saying,
"Wey, aku nak berenti keje la wey. Nak sambung belaja PhD. Nak jadi lecturer."
I was dumb-founded and stupefied. What had made her wanting to quit her lucrative job as a Chemist to shift her career life to being a lecturer, a job with a meager salary? She is now currently pursuing MsC in Analytical Chemistry and at the same time a respectful chemist at a company in Shah Alam which, trust me, pays a lot. Her statement made me pondered. It was the same thing that happened to my cousin. She pursues her study in MSC while at the same time holding a big-time-salary job as an accountant. Is working too tedious for them to finally alter their direction to teaching no matter how much salaries offered? I was befuddled.
But then, I figured out that this phenomenon simply rises from the certain spiritual needs working can't provide. Sometimes, they got bored by the ruts they are in. Having the ability to teach others can somewhat be therapeutic and it calms the soul. Maybe it is hardwired into our brains. Women feel energized when they do social works like tending to children and teaching people. Doing these kinds of things make them refueled with oxytocin, a good-feeling hormone.
See, money is not everything.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Aku masih ingat hari tu, di kala diri ini sedang nekad untuk menyiapkan kerja yang masih bersisa. Iyalah, kalau dah siangnya kami sibuk melakukan kerja lab, masa selepas office hourlah yang akan digunakan untuk menyiapkan report ataupun menulis draf paper. Petang itu, aku dan Bella berniat untuk stay back di bilik siswazah untuk melakukan kerja masing-masing. Jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 6 petang. Perut merasa lapar namun tidak diendahkan demi menyiapkan kerja masing-masing. Niat di hati ingin makan selepas selesai kerja kami. Mungkin dalam jam 10 kami akan singgah di restoran sebelum pulang.
Sejam berlalu. Mataku yang tadinya pegun ke arah skrin komputer mula terasa berpinar. Perut pula mula disinggahi angin. Dek kerana malu itu sebahagian daripada iman, angin itu diam dalam usus, tanpa melepaskan dirinya yang tidak disenangi orang ramai. Dalam pukul 8.30 malam macam tu, aku mula rasa tak sedap badan. Sakit sendi dan juga lenguh-lenguh badan mula menjengah. Rasa senak dada dan angin semacam tersumbat dalam perut. Angin yang tadi bergolak dalam perut mula naik ke bahagian ulu hati. The pain which started in the duodenum seemed to be radiating towards the upper chest. Kupicit-picit ulu hati ku, dengan harapan angin yang sumbat itu boleh dipaksa keluar. Namun apakan daya, angin itu masih di dalam. Sakit seperti ditumbuk-tumbuk. Sesak nafas dan rasa seperti dihenyak-henyak. Lalu aku cuba berdiri dan berjalan-jalan di sekitar bilik yang mulai panas dek kerana aircond yang ditutup oleh pihak pengurusan. Ya Allah, sakitnya!
"Nape kak Jannah?"
Bella kehairanan melihatku mundar-mandir. Aku yang dari tadi kesakitan menyeringai gigiku sambil mengurut bahagian bawah dadaku yang sakit nian.
"Angin tak lepas,"
Aku mengaduh. Tak lama kemudian, aku kembali duduk dan menutup komputer ribaku. Barang-barang di atas meja lantas disumbat ke dalam beg galas Kipling yang berwarna maroon itu. Aku memandang Bella sambil berkata,
"Jom. balik. Sakit dada lah,"
Kami pun turun ke bawah setelah selesai mengemas meja masing-masing. Aku yang dari tadinya kesakitan berjalan tidak stabil, sambil tubuhku dibengkokkan sedikit ke hadapan. Dah macam nenek kebayan jadinya.
"Kak Jannah okay tak? Boleh drive ke ni?"
Aku tidak mampu berkata-kata. Setiap langkahku membuatkan dadaku bertambah sebu dan sakit. Aku cuba gagahkan diriku kerana kutahu, tidakkan mampu si dia untuk memapahku seandainya aku terjelopok di lobi Makmal Berpusat itu. Kalu ikutkan hati, mahu sahaja aku mintak Bella drive keretaku.
"Tak jadi berhenti makan la Bella. Sorry sangat. Sakit gile dada saya,"
Aku bersuara sambil membetulkan dudukku di seat pemandu. Terasa payah sekali menarik tali pinggang keselamatan ke arahku lalu mengetatkan hujungnya.
Maka aku pun memandu dalam keadaan yang sangat sukar. Terpaksa menahan sakit yang menusuk setiap kali aku menarik nafasku. Seksa Ya Rab. Seksa sungguh memandu dengan keadaan sebegitu payah. Mujur sahaja kakiku tidak kejang.
Sesampainya di rumah, aku berbaring. Sakit itu masih menekan jiwa ragaku. Ya Allah apa harusku buat Kucuba tarik dan hembus nafas beberapa kali. Aku cuba tenangkan diri dengan mengosongkan fikiran daripada perkara-perkara yang merimaskan.Tak lama kemudian dengan izin Allah, angin itu keluar!!! Alhamdulillah. Segala sakit sendi, lenguh badan dan juga senak dada langsung hilang! Ajaib sungguh. Sememangnya angin tersumbat tersangatlah bahaya. Disebabkan aku memaksa diriku bekerja dengan perut yang kosong, aku menjadi mangsa kepada kesakitan yang sangat menyeksakan.
Pengajaran: jangan bekerja jika lapar.
p/s: failed attempt of writing in Malay. My malay seems weird
Saturday, December 13, 2014
MOB. Yeah. I am the master of blunders.
Quite recently, I came to realize I am so clumsy and such a wimpy willow. I always make mistakes and failed to fill in others' needs. It's such a disappointing thing to happen. Yes people are prone to making mistakes once in a while but it's also true that people tend to see others' mistakes and erase all their kindness before. It's so unfair.
Monday, December 08, 2014
Hari ni terbukti lagi sekali bahawa segenap inci daripada golden rules apply dalam kehidupan. Kalau orang Hindi akan sebut karma which according to Raj, Newtonian (you get back what you put in). Kita orang Islam sebut kaffarah. What goes around comes around. So if you want a good ending, you must put best efforts into whatever you are doing, especially the starting point of it. Even dalam sains, energy is conserved. It is not created nor destroyed, but it changes its form. Sweet huh? No, maybe geek.
Hey no geeks here (haha)
On another unrelated topic, now I am kind of into listening to Hidustan movies song clips. Since I watched that movie Dil Hai Tumhara played by Arjun Rampal and the absolutely pretty Preity Zinta last week, I suddenly was like being thrown back into old days of Bollywood era. The cornucopia of mellifluous songs from those box office movies really drew me into fantasy world of love lol. Those songs ipso facto reveal the emotions and feelings of the singers that would reach people's heart in a lovely and entertaining fashion.
Agak2 kat Mydin leh jumpe dok mat bangla cam arjun rampal? ngeh ngeh
Now I am quite busy with labworks. No matter how busy I am now, I feel content. And when I looked back to my times at the old place, I can say that now I am much happier. Being surrounded by good friends and colleagues really give me those good vibes. It's not that my old friends are not good. It's just that I am more easily fit in with this new microcosm. It's good to be among those people who are of the same speed with you, who understand you more. Because before this when I was with those super seniors, I could not catch their drift. I failed to relate to anything they were doing. Yeah they were wayyy ahead of me so no wonder lahhh they had done their works faster than me and I should never compare my work to those who are already halfway down the road - it's stupid and useless. Don't be a moron Jannah.
You see, the problem is that I kept on comparing and complaining on so many things that it thwarted me from being the real me ---- the perky girl who loves mingling around and cracking jokes with people, the one who loves helping others and make joyful conversation and even gossiping (duh). I tend to isolate myself into the hard shell of impenetrable ego that it eats me from inside whenever I felt intimidated or gravely inferior by the presence of certain elements that shook my spirit off. I was devastated by my own hands and heart. AND the dire state of angst and total isolation was worsened when nobody was willing to lend a helping hand. It was awful and pitiful.
I really wished that there would be someone who could come and hug me, stroke my shoulders and tell me, "It's gonna be okay, Jannah, everything is gonna be all right". Something like that. I was at the brink of destruction and almost fell off the cliff of life hurdles. Nevertheless Allah gave me strength and that bloody black episode had finally gone away, far faaaaarrrrrrrrr away, like the cottony puffs of pungent smoke in a rainy day but the scar is strongly engraved in the deepest part of my brain --- probably hippocampus. I moved on despite its constant replay when triggered at times. It keeps on repeating and repeating whenever it want, splattering those grotesque images from one of the worst things that ever happen to me in my life. Ugh. I don't think the scar will ever perish. Something like that surely remain. It shall linger around to teach me a lot about this life and I cannot ever forget it. Coz I have an eidetic memory, like that of Sheldon Cooper. Or maybe Wesley Crushers (please, more Big Bang Theory referencess? Lame-o)