Sunday, January 04, 2015


I am not normal. I am opposite to being normal. I always find myself being isolated by the attitude of people around me. I was being a total outcast. Until today. But I must say, all this things come from me. Its ab originality is undoubtedly coming from me. I hate changes and I love ranting hahaha so that's why you can see me posting some random things here in my blog.

Err where do this come from?

I tell you where this is coming from.

I went browsing Facebook of my seniors during my high school when I found that most of them already married and have at least one child. I suddenly was being thrown back into the well of memories from when I was in the asrama during high school. I remember being treated like vermins by my seniors. They stared me so hard as if I am a criminal. I don't understand why. This went on until I finally got into Form 2. I still don't know why I was being treated like a disease. People seemed to be deserting me like I was some kind of a plague. It was horrible. I only have few friends and thankfully they really taught me happiness despite all those glaring eyes from those chauvinists. Was it the way I walked? Or they way I ate?? Or was it the way I talked? Was I a pariah??? I don't know. A lot of people seemed to be afraid of me. I failed to find the root cause of the problem. Only Allah knows.

And the same thing happened after 10 years leaving high school. When I went to attend the wedding reception of a senior who happens to be my neighbour, a lot of her colleagues and friends, who happened to also be my ex-seniors, came to celebrate her big day. When I looked at them, they seemed to have that same face when they look at me when I was in the high school, being treated like a rodent. I was feeling uncomfortable. The staring was identical to whatever thing I experienced years before. It was mind-boggling and totally bizarre. How could they be treating me like that??? What did I do???!?!

Am I cursed??!!!!

oH GOSH am I being too hormonal????

this is killing me!!!!

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mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.