Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Muerto


Or better be muerta~




Today I kill a lot of people. Not literally killing people but you get the gist. You see, women tend to keep these hard feelings rather than exposing them. That's why it builds up inside this heart and eventually become thickened 'scales' which deposited inside the wall of the throbbing organ resting in our ribs.


I do that often. I often harbour those bad feelings and suppress my anger as much as I could so that my true feelings won't be too apparent nor discernible to people around me. If I were to act exactly like the way I feel,  I think I'd be killing for sure. It's quite refreshing to be able to burst all those feelings in those people's faces but I can't never bring myself to be so blatant and transparent. I do know that being honest really makes you a better person but when one is being honest he/she will risk losing so many things. Well no guts no glory. You'll have to sacrifice one thing to get other thing.


I know there are pros and cons of being open about having hard feelings and striving to seek ways to mend fences but I always prefer to mince words. Mincing words is hard. It's like you wanna pee but you supress the urge to pee and imagine how painful your lower abdomen is with the bulging gall bladder waiting to burst any minute. It's just like that. So excruciating.


And I often fail to be open about my feelings that I always go like


"oh gee it's okay I'm fine don't worry," Walking away while waving hands with the fake smile I wore on my face though  I was actually dying inside coz this feeling is consuming!!!



I can't bring myself to meet halfway with people I have arguments with coz usually it will be met by tears and emotional burst before things can finally be concluded. So it seems like it's easier to suppress those feelings rather than announcing them to people. So it seems.


ugh. it is ugly yeah I know coz it pains me a lot.
I really need to learn either not to be too sensitive orrr if I am to retain the oversensitive psycopath in me, I'm gonna need to find ways to be able to tell off about my feelings to others. Ehheheehehe *evil snickering*



Evil overlord in the making.



P/s: I can simply throw a benevolent smile to other people while in actuality I feel so mad inside so crazily I want to literally tear those people a new one.




don't make me sad, coz you'll be nagged, don't make me mad, or you'll regret.

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