Monday, March 09, 2015

Floating boat at the brink of doom




I am a boat clutching the brink of the river not steered. Floating. I am being washed off to the shore. The waves are crushing so hard the boat seems to be cracking. But I cannot move. Nobody is there to steer me. Coz I am having no drive nor unbridled passion to steer from inside. I am dormant. I feel hopeless. I feel lost. I feel everything is wrong. Nothing is ever done. Nothing seems right. What kind of positive outcomes you are expecting with this kind of dragging attitude? Come on dude. Buck up!




I am sick of living the rut. Waking up in the morning, I went to wash up, looking up at the wall so that I keep right track of time despite the constant late arrival at the campus (lols). With every new resolution for every new semester which had never been accomplished (one being swearing off to get to the campus early) haha. What am I rambling?? Nah I dunno.








I need a hug





Then I'll do all these sorts of lab works to get my master done. Then I had lunch. Then I resume slogging off my ass in the lab (and sometimes slacking off by fooling around at the cafeteria with my best buds eating hot buns and stuffs). Or maybe watch some movies or ripoffs of dramas I love while waiting for those hot solutions to stir. And the next thing I do was I went through the mind-rattling papers and rummaging through the Internet pages looking for some answers to questions that have been scattering in my mind. Duh.




Then I went home. I then turned to tv and try to find any speck of happiness from watching those rewound stories on the tv. Not limited to that, I would watch some repetitious sitcoms from my computer. Its lame. Its too lame. My life is boring! I am so close to being an otaku who can't help watching the same thing over again and again.  Shrewd! More time spent inside my room and I'll be a perfect example of a hikikomuri. 














It's amazing how those fancy gadgets (computers, laptops, smart phones) had successfully replaced actual human contacts. People get easily engrossed playing computer games or watching redundant shows on the television. Some may feel content by just scrolling down those news feeds in their smartphones. Be it Facebook,  Twitter, Instagram - all people just love social networks. Ugh this is just ugly.




I hate this. I wanna be human. I want actual humans relationship. Habluminannas.














But I failed to get out of these fancy specks of technologies. All those tvs, laptop, hand phones and all really dull the senses and corrupt everybody. Once you are lured in, it is almost impossible to escape. So here's the conundrum. How do we save ourselves from the smothering shackles of modern life? How do we relinquish ourselves from all these advancement of lives and eventually go back to being true humans who interact in daily basis and not depending on those silly gadgets that do nothing but separate us?  Just look around, how they had severed the very bonds that glued the humans in communities together. I love human contact: actual human contacts. I yearn for actual people interaction no matter how reclusive I am. 





Hmmmm.




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