Sunday, March 29, 2015

masih adakah?

hari ni menerima dua perkhabaran sedih. satu, sepupu eksiden. patah dua-dua peha. kepala hantuk atas cermin depan kereta yang buat u-turn kat tempat yg tak sepatutnya. akibatnya, concussion. hemorrhage. sampai kene jahit dahi. meraung-raung dalam bilik bedah. sakit. ya Allah. tak tau macam mana lah if aku yang jadi dia. dia tu laki pon jerit meraung2. nikan kita pompuan.



patutlah malam semalam aku tak lena tido. pusing belah kiri, mata tak nak lelap. pusing belah kanan, mata membulat, segar tak nak tido. aish! rupa-rupanya nak mendapat perkhabaran tak berapa elok. mak aku pon sama. tak lena tidurnya semalam. kuatnya Allah bagi instinct. kalau ada pertalian darah ni memang akan bleh rasa getarnya if something wrong happens. macam kuasa bluetooth. jauh benar jarak memisahkan namun segenap sel dalam tubuh bergetar semacam satu perasaan tak tergambarkan. hebatnya kuasa Allah. 




emosi aku malah bertambah kacau bila mendapat perkhabaran kedua. pasal sexual infidelity dari microcosm of life aku. aku dari dulu berangan2 nak kawen, nak dapat anak, hidup bahagia, sampailah ke syurga. namun apakan daya, berita yang kuterima merubah segala. harapan dan impianku pula dirasakan remuk, walaupun hati orang lain yang sebenarnya dirundung hiba malah berkecamuk. semacam ada rasa geram dalam hati nak pegi bunuh je lelaki2 tak guna kat luar sana yang curang dengan isterinya sendiri!!!! urghhhh! if only i have HULK superpower. susah nak cari orang setia kan? i tot love will be something so divine that it will last forever till death. but i must embrace myself, and accept the cold truth that love doesn't work that way. love is the interpretation of respect that comes from both sides. you can't tango alone. yep. love is not cheap. you need to pay for love to show.





i suddenly being thrown into the ocean of truth and bitter life. i came to realize that life is not all sweet and lovely and nice. although you see people around you are happy, talking carefreely, and fooling around, in actuality, they are facing big problems in their heads. sometimes i can't fathom how these people can still smile so wide and at the same time having these all turmoils of emotions inside their minds. it's amazing. you are sad but you smile. wow, it's something hard to do.




nevertheless, fret not. Allah tests us because He knows we are strong. just be yourself and live the life as you seem fit. as long as you remember Him, things will patch up.











3 comments:

amer afizal azmee said...

jangan selalu sangkan bintang di langit indah sehingga ingin digapai dengan tangan, tanpa kita sedar, siksa rumput dibumi menahan angan sang pemimpi indah. sabar k

Anonymous said...

apebenda sexual infidelity tu janah?

-erma comel-

Jαnnαhツ said...

erma. sexual infidelity tu adultery. perzinaan antara suami orang ngan pompuan lain. kalau berzina org bujang org sebut fornicaton. huhuhu :)

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