Saturday, June 27, 2015

Twisted soul is meant to be buried

I remember how my youngest brother complaining that some people in his class giving him all the hard stares and glares which made him  shivering his own spine. It's like he was some kind of freak with long nose and weird curly hair wearing the steel rod on the shoulder (am I describing a Hobo? Or Sogeking?). He then feels so low self esteem and detested. I then said to him, in this world, not everyone will like us. Some may even despise us with no particular reason. That's life. And that's how I experienced before when I was being isolated from the bigger microcosm of high school society.

Not having the ability to conform to peer pressure really gave me harsh times of life. Well, we are all made different from another and in fact, that is where the phrase 'peer pressure' even stems from. Things which set us apart from a bigger set of society really challenge us physically and mentally hence pushing us towards the fence so we could get into the same side
of the field. And i was always being thrust into the edgier edge for not having what others have, making me feel so down and isolated.

Nevertheless I must not say my adolescence was all that bad. I did have friends who understood me more than my own parents. Huhu.

...

Twisted as I may be, I am actually happier. I am satisfied--- content. People who are not crazy is not living a full life. Some times you need to be crazy for amazing things to happen in life.  Crazy works;  believe me.

And I must say that if I'm not crazy,  I'll be feeling sad all day long, moping and wailing on trivial stuffs in life, excessively regretting things i should have gotten. Picturing how my fate had harshly brought me to. Imagining what will happen had i not taken the taken road. Drawing my own sceneries of life into a piece of humongous canvas should i take the road not taken. But when i get crazy, I perceive life as a bigger entity coz deep down inside I know world don't revolve around me. And I surely am not the centre of the universe.

I'll start accepting what's been destined for me and trying to comprehend things no matter how vociferous the radical thought may be. Yes, life holds greater mystery for all of us. Therefore we must be strong. Have a strong will to live the life to the fullest. Try to avoid those bad thoughts and ditch unimportant,  puny interferences so that you stay focused on your aim and life objectives.

If you ask me is there anything that made me regretting doing, of course I'd say yes. But life must go on. You can't undo the done things. Alas I hope I have not bad memories at all but trust me, your childhood memory won't be even half as bad as my childhood memories. Life was harsh. I cannot say my life was exactly bed of roses. If anything,  it was bed of thorns and spikes.

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