Tuesday, December 29, 2015

unlock your memory in just one sniff away.

"Wow, sedapnye bau. Teringat masa jamu kecik-kecik dulu macam bau orang goreng hati." ujar Ayah.


My attempt to try cooking grilled veggies just like Nandos worked quite well. Because the remarks above said it all.










Sunday, December 27, 2015

blocked.


Hi readers. Err, is there any reader by the way? Hm. Snort not. You know why people don't really read what you write. Maybe because your posts are mostly self-centered and if anything, a wee bit narcissistic. Lewls. 


Quite recently, I didn't have anything in mind to write about. It's quite fair to say that I was in the state of hiatus. It was strange because I can rant about random things here in my blog. But lately, I have no mood in writing. I just don't know why. Maybe because of the humongous blow by a friend saying my fb posts were so emotional that I quit writing for a while. What I realize now is that how chubby my fingers are. See how unrelated my points could be?


I have been thinking about serious things. My head is now in SERIOUS mode. So not comfortable. I may have writer's block right now.





Monday, December 21, 2015

This emptiness.

What am I gonna do if I were to die today? Am I gonna have a good ending? Am I gonna be happy down under?




Thursday, December 17, 2015

Things I Despise


There are several things which are not really my cup of tea. I would always try to avoid these things (if possible):

1) Pulut + durian
I don't like the combination of these two. I don't ever relish the thought of having that pungent smell of durian mixed with glutinous rice inside my mouth. Eww. What more if we eat those inside coconut milk gravy. To me, it is unacceptable. I often close to puke myself whenever I had to eat this meal. Sorry durian lovers. But if it's durian crepe, I'll for sure eat the whole box! I just simply love the synchronous taste of durian flesh and soft cream in a harmonious blend of tantalizing durian crepe. Simply irresistible!

2) Smell of grass after rain
I found this disliking to be quite odd since most people I meet said that they really enjoy the smell of freshly rain-washed grass after the rain stop. To me, I hate it. Coz the smell somehow made me feel sad. I don't know why - I just do. Weird right? I think it was due to the fact that I hate the feeling on rainy days. I like rains since rains are wonderful since they'd wash the earth and cool things. However, I always associate rains with sadness. When it rains, it feels like somebody is crying and that made me inexplicably sad. I could be sad out of nothing. So emotional.

3) Waiting
I really hate waiting, especially after a fixed appointment date. When you promise me to meet at 7, please be sure to reach me by then. 15 minutes late is enough to make me grumpy. Punctuality is so important in my life.

4) Hairfall
That's why I hate combing my hair! Hehehe. I'd rather let my hair dries itself in the breeze than having to watch strands of hair falling off of my head.

5) Food in santan
Ermmm. Such as gulai, kari, masak kurma, beriani and some others. But I love nasik lemak. Hehehe. I don't like santan-ish gravy. I would get full  too fast hence I'd not enjoy the food. If I were to choose, I'd pick sambal with nasi. I'd be happier that way.

6) Chicken breast
Gosh I really hate this! I'd rather not eat if my KFC plate has a chicken breast instead of thigh or drumstick. Chicken breasts are arguably the most nutritious part of a chicken due to its lowest fat content. Nevertheless, the dryness of this part can really choke me. And I just can't take it. Will avoid it at any cost.

7) People who took me for granted.
Should I say more?

8) Non-standard franchise food
Hmmm. Just like my favourite Pizza Hut's Prawn Olio Spaghetti. Always changing. Never perfected.

9) Being corrected in public
I always find this humiliating. If you want to correct me, please use proper tones and words. If not, I won't even hesitate to diss all your sayings and you would find your efforts worthless.

10) People who don't practise what they preach
Hm. I think most people are with me in this.

Monday, December 14, 2015

HIMALAYAN BEAUTY




Terima kasih Pearl's Sis sebab COD depan Seven Eleven UniSZA tadi hehe. Setia dengan perfume cheta. Wangi giler!! Antara perfume yg menjadi koleksi. Sebab Halal product kan so yakin nak pakai. Lepas tu boleh pulak singgah farmasi beli himalaya haha. Terbeli katanya sekali ngan promosi tisu lembab Watson's. Adui. Terbeli pulak. Errr. Hopefully lepas ni boleh la jadi Himalayan Beauty. Gehehehe.





At least cantik macam nie. Hahhaha!

Epitome of Retardness


I may be retarded, coz being normal is boring.






Patrick is one of the best sidekicks ever. Though at times he is foolish, his companionship to Spongebob had added some kind of perfection to the series. There is no Spongebob without Patrick. Hahhahaha.



 photo PatrickShort-Circuit.jpg

Just looking at her blurred face can make my day. Ehehehe~






Lalalalalalalalaala~ Watch his clueless face and oblivious eyes. 


Saturday, December 12, 2015

12-12-2015

Today I felt like something bad is gonna happen. I don't know how but I just do. The twitch that I felt on my left eyelid really was telling me something like a glitch is happening or is going to happen to my system - life system. Oh I hope it is not something serious. Coz before this, if there was that irregular and uncontrolled movement on my left eyelid, bad thing was bound to happen. I was scared, hence cancelling the very intention to go shopping for cloth.


Friday, December 11, 2015

Home

Sometimes I have this weird dream, a dream I repeatedly had in my sleeps for several nights. I used to be dreaming about a place, a bizarre place where I saw a very large field and the field is green in color. It is more like grassy field and there was a small wooden cottage with one whole space inside the cottage and there I was all alone in the kitchen cooking something to eat. By the stove there was a window from which I can see the splendid view of the mountain. I smiled and feel peaceful and content. On the right side of the cottage there was a veryyy big bushy and shady tree and it is really similar similar to the one at my campus now and this is probably why I always have this kind of weird feeling whenever I walk pass that tree in my university days on the way to the eatery. There is some kind of special attachment I have with that big tree that sometimes I blurted stupid things like, "Hey this tree is beautiful. Can I pull it out off the ground and have it planted in front of my house?" which left my friends dumbfounded. Yeah I am always silly that way. In the front door of my cottage there was a desire path  leading to the Forest. I walked along the path and I saw myself going into the thick forest and then I just woke up from my sleep. And this is how the same dream keep repeating itself. It is so mind blowing and peculiar and eccentric. I really wish that I can go to the same place again. Maybe for real. And this time, I wish I'd find something or perhaps, someone inside the thick forest so that I won't be alone anymore....




http://www.ghulmil.com/wp-content/uploads/beautiful-big-autumn-tree-hd-wallpaper.jpg




the following is the added text on 12/7/2016 after having read Murakami's Kafka on the Shore.



reading this post makes me feel so weird thinking about how my dream is similar to the realm Kafka Tamura went to through the entrance. and it seemed like what i experienced was similar to Miss Saeki, who was 15 year old at that time. in the novel, Kafka went into a cabin deep into a forest where Miss Saeki was cooking for him. i feel awkward and weird having read a story from a novel which somehow relates to me in the most unnerving way that it makes me cringe all over.

Wednesday, December 09, 2015

Random Thoughts



Saya nak jadi kurus.



Saya nak jadi baik. 





Saya nak jadi hebat.



Saya nak jadi rajin.



Saya nak jadi pandai.

Saya nak jadi bijak.

Saya nak jadi genius.







Saya nak jadi cantik.


Weeeeeeeeee~


Semalam rasa down and down and down that I kept myself locked inside my room, weeping and wailing.  I secluded myself and become scarcer than ever until my parents realized my reticence. Today I redeemed it by cooking delicious lunch so that they won't have to be worried anymore. Coz my problems are not for others to worry. Hehehehe!

Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Yellow Power



I thought lemons are overrated fruits, until I tried myself living with these yellow balls of miracle. Eheh.

Once, I used to get very exhausted just 1 hour after a walk at the mall, window shopping with my girlfriends. I lamented my pain to my friends. They felt weird coz they didn't seem to be tired at all when I was aching all over - cramped and all. When I was drench in sweat, they kept on walking steadily around the mall while I was dragging my feet behind..it was too cruel. Huh. I love window shopping, but it caused bloated feet.



However, strangest thing had happened last Friday. I was walking so fast from convention centre to Suria KLCC in several loops but i didn't feel tired as much as I did before when I went shopping with my friends. It was so mind-blowing and tad magical. I remembered exactly that that morning, when I reached the exhibition floor, I had to go back to Suria KLCC which is probably 2 kilometer from Hall 4 of Convention Centre because my supervisor asked me to go buy some stationeries for our booth. I thought - kinokuniya! And Kinokuniya is in top floor of Suria KLCC. Hum.. so it seemed like I had to walk some more. Some more? I think sooo much more. Not to mention the  same repeating lane I was traversing back and forth like a mad girl looking for her lost keys. Hahaha. I didn't know how to get to kinokuniya from convention centre hahaha hence the straying. When I asked a friend to come with me then only we found the store. Yeah it's like what they say, two is better than one.







When we succesfully searched the store, we sat by the bench and relaxed after the long walk. My friend said she ached all over and that's when I was wondering why didn't i feel lethargic at all. Coz by then I should have been gasping for air out of exhaustion together with cramped legs and bloated feet. I was what???? Then I remembered that I had one new routine in my life which I just practised since 3 months ago. I drank lemon juice. So they say lemon juice can detox you so well that you would feel invigorated and energetic to face the day. Wow???! That's when I told my friend to start drinking lemon juice. I was so enthusiastic and ecstatic when telling her that lemons would do her good. I can give my benevolent testimony. 100% guaranteed. Hehehhe.

I seriously offer you the goodness of lemon juice. Just buy fresh lemons at the market and squeeze the juice for good detoxifying agent. Yiehhhaaaaa!

Monday, December 07, 2015

The sudden urge to cry

I don't know why but I am so fragile now. Even the littlest thing can make me cry. Is it PMS? I sure hope not.

Riwayat Rapuhnya Sekeping Hati

Tahun depan kau da 27 tahun okay. Boleh tak matang tu lebih sikit. Umur da meningkat akal tu kat takuk lama lagi. Buah fikiran tu biar bernas skit sampai boleh jana income.
Perghhh sentap.



Aku sangat emotional kelmarin. Aku rasa aku kurang matang even when I am almost 27. Aku cuba jadi matang maka dalam diri terdetik rasa untuk mengaudit diri aku dengan bertanya pada sang sahabat apa yg patutku ubah tentang diri aku agar aku menjadi super matang dan super hebat di masa akan datang.

Sang sahabat berniat baik. Dia tahu kelemahanku. Maka didedahkan satu persatu untuk aku baiki. Kelemahan paling ketara ialah aku terlalu transparent - tak tahu nak mince words apatah lagi nak cover riak muka. Kalu rasa marah ke bengang ke tak puas hati ke, muka aku akan terusss zaaappppp nampak je emosional tu hingga semua bleh notice. And kalu tak puas hati kat anything, aku akan post kat facebook atau blog like this one haha. Lols.

Tak elok katanya. Aku kene tapis sikit perasaan. Jaga sikit perkataan. Jangan main shoot sedap mulut je. Jangan tunjuk riak muka tu sangat. Nanti apa kata orang. Apa perasaan orang even when itulah sebenarnya riak  wajah dan kata2 yg sesuai dengan keadaan tu. Learn to control your face expression and your words.Tak elok kalu blatant sgt. Betul ade benarnya kata2 itu. Tapi bukan itu yg keluar dari mulut sang sahabat. Yang keluar,

"Mu ni selfish,"

Aku da sentap gile dah masa tu. -butthurt. Tapi jauh sudut hati aku tahu bukan niat dia nak kata selfish. Dia blurted out sahaja perkataan tu. Sebab selfish sebenarnya maksud dia lain - selfish ni kita utamakan diri kita berbanding orang lain. Aku da start terasa da. Aku ni selfish ke? Kalu ye teruknya aku. Jahatnya aku. Aku cuba pujuk. Mungkin dia tersilap amik word untuk describe keadaan aku. Kira perkataan tu tak sesuai dengan konteks ayat. Walaupun cara aku yang terus terang tentang apa yg aku rasa tu sehingga aku tanpa segan silu tunjuk reaksi muka dan kata2 itu membuatkan dia terfikir aku selfish sbb fikir perasaan aku je. Perasaan org macam mana. Mungkin itulah missing link dia.

And having realized that I was taken aback on her remark, she suddenly feeling guilty,

"Ala, silap perkataan la. Aku bukan  nak sebut selfish. Alamak, sorry2. Aku tarik balik,"

Dia pandang aku. Aku da bergenang air mata. And I was trying so harddddd to hold the tears that i was halfway choking in my own tears. Tetibe terigat video baby menangis dengar lagu mak.dia nyanyi. Adohhh.

"Wey jangan nangis."

She said to me. I was like whattttt reverse psychology - the more you forbid me the more I'll do it. Arghhhh. I couldn't hold it in no more: I abruptly burst into tears. I saw the expression that she was about to say another word but to avoid that torrents of waterfalls I put my index finger across my lips, signaling her to stop talking to let me pass the wind of sadness. But then again I couldn't seem to help the cry, the tears flowed so fast. It was dripping like crazy. I told myself, Jannah stop crying stop crying! People are looking dammit!!!

I smeared the tears and removed my sullied glasses. I asked from my friend for a tissue paper. I said sorry for crying and that I couldn't stop crying. Usually it'll take more than one meager word to crack me up. What the hell was happening? My mind told my heart to stop but my heart was so stubborn it just went against my will to stop crying.

I thought maybe it was a PMS. The hormonal discharge into my bloodstream had triggered tonnes of emotional effects. Maybe I was being strong for a long time that I just need that one simple word to push me off the cliff I have been clinging onto.

Hikmah dan Rezeki



"Subhanallah. Rezeki Allah tu luas kan? Mcm dalam ayat seribu dinar tu."

Ujarku sambil berpaling ke arah sahabatku yg ketika itu sedang fokus memandu. Tanpa berpaling, sahabatku hanya tersenyum.

"Wayarzukuhu min haisu la yahtasib."

Ayat itu bergema di dalam kotak ingatan - secebis ayat yang terpalit dalam lipatan salah satu surah dalam Quran. Ayat penuh hikmah dan nikmah.

Maksudnya:
Dan Dia memberikan rezeki kepada hamba-Nya melalui jalan yg tidak disangka-sangka.
Begitulah rezeki Allah. Allahu robbi. Indahnya kurniaanMu. Alhamdulillah.

...

Penyertaanku dalam pertandingan produk inovasi PECIPTA 2015 anjuran UPSI di Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre (KLCC) sangatlah bermakna. Walaupun tidak beroleh apa-apa pingat mahupun anugerah, hatiku pulang berbunga-bunga. Bukan sahaja pengalaman yang tidak ternilai yang aku peroleh, aku juga mengetahui sesuatu hal yg lain yg amat bermakna.

Aku sudah sekian lama berteka-teki tentang siapakah yang bakal menjadi external examinerku saat aku menghadapi viva voce nanti. Kawan2 seangkatan yang masih belum pun menghantar thesis sudah pun terlebih dahulu maklum akan pemeriksa luar masing-masing. Nah, aku? Aku sahaja yang bingung - tidak tahu malah jahil. Terpalit rasa kecewa, aku agak dirundung hiba dan inferior. Mengapa aku tidak tahu? Why am I the only one kept in the dark? It is not fair.

Sangat penting untuk bakal pelajar yang mahu viva maklum mengenai bakal pemeriksa luar. Ini kerana pelajar akan lebih bersedia dengan style dan rentak pemeriksa itu. Mungkin pelajar boleh cuba membaca papers dan publications yg diterbitkan oleh pensyarah tersebut. Ini akan menjadikan pelajar lebih tenang dan yakin ketika mahu disoal dalam sesi viva nanti. Tak kenal maka tak cinta kan?
Rupa-rupanya rungutan hatiku sampai ke atas sana. Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Allah mentakdirkan beliau datang ke  program PECIPTA itu. Allah takdirkan rasa tergerak di hatinya untuk menjengah booth pameranku di mana waktu itu aku seorang sahaja di situ sambil mata melilau melihat pengunjung yang lalu lalang. Aku hanya tersenyum saat pertama kali melihat kelibat Dr Zainab ini di depanku. Beliau malah datang bersama timbalan dekan PPSA UMT yang super famous kalah FamousAmos: Assoc Prof Wan Mohd Khairul (Nicknamed Dr Kay).

Aku hulurkan tangan dan bersalam dengan Dr Zainab dari UNIMAS. Sejuk sahaja riak air mukanya. Aku mengukirkan senyuman, masih tidak tahu saat itu bahawa beliaulah bakal pemeriksa luarku. Apa yang aku tahu  ialah beliau pernah memberi lecture ketika satu program wacana kimia kira-kira 2 tahun lepas tentang projek beliau mengenai penghasilan fire retardant panel from sago waste which I found to be so interesting.

Dr Kay tiba-tiba berkata,

"Ha. Dah bolehlah viva kat sini."

Sambil tersenyum. Aku agak tersentak. Viva?

Adakah ini external examiner ku? Aku hanya senyum. Aku cuba kawal air mukaku so that it won't be apparent to them that I actually had no idea about her being my external examiner in the very first place. What I learnt from the incident is that I will have to know how to react to things around me by subtly reading the atmosphere so that I could benefit a lot from any incident. Yeah keep that in mind.
Aku teruskan senyum walau dalam hati membuak-buak dengan seribu juta persoalan. Namun dalam hati sudah yakin bahawa Dr Zainablah orangnya. Aku melihat Dr Zainab senyum sambil membelek2 produk inovasi Chitogel di atas meja beralas kain biru satin itu. Sesekali beliau bergelak tawa dengan Dr Kay diselangi dengan pandangan matanya ke arah poster pameran. Beliau nampak teruja.

"Jannah, you boleh terangkan apa yang you buat ni? I tak baca pon lagi thesis you."

Sambil senyum melihat Dr Kay yang juga tersenyum.

Aku pun menerangkan overview projekku. Setelah itu, beliau berkata

"Ha boleh lah minor correction."

Sambil gelak2 dengan Dr Kay. Hahahahaha. Mesra sungguh Dr Zainab ni. Dr Kay pon suka bergurau. Hikhik. Dr Kay pulak duduk gebang2 pasal aku punye sijil2. Malu pulak kita. Hummm. Semua tu takkan kuperoleh tanpa kurniaan Allah. Dan mungkin jugak  rezeki ini berlaku dan dilimpahkan bukan atas sebab doa dari diriku pacal hina yg super berdosa ni. Mungkin doa dari ibu dan ayah serta sahabat yg ikhlas mendoakan itu yang memungkinkan segala dari Allah.

Wayarzukuhu min haisu la yahtasib.

Benarlah kata-kata Allah. Allahuakbar!

Ditulis selama setengah jam atas katil empuk.





Dr Zainab UNIMAS

Saturday, December 05, 2015

The confrontational hesitation



Why do you use norfloxacin. It is not good. Will make the golden staph more resistant. Why don't you make the material without inclusion of drug. I think it would be more interesting. And i think I'm gonna collaborate with your boss to test this on my patients at UM to see how much the effects of norfloxacin. We would like to avoid the usage of antibiotics because it will kill all good cells required during wound healing. Nevertheless your product is good - Interesting!

Wow?

Berpeluh aku nak kene jawab soalan dari lecturer UM. Tapi bagus la saranan dia. Hehe. Ade jugak dulu Dr Joon dari unisza yg saran jangan letak drugs lagi2 antibiotic. Bahaya. Yeah it can't be denied. That's why the study can actually be moved further. Can be tested against animals or even humans.

Wow.

Inflammation!


Kenapa kene letak anti inflammatory drug sedangkan inflammation tu penting untuk sembuhkan luka. (answer: yes inflammation is an inevitable part of normal bodily response towards injury/wound which is essential in healing process as it will alert the secretion of white blood cells and platelet to help the stopping of bleeding. however, it makes patients feel pain and cause us to be bedridden for days and if not, may disrupt our daily routines. so adding this drug is hopeful soothing the painful effects as we would like to move on and about to enable us to tend to a lot of daily stuffs). And kenapa nak bunuh bakteria. Sedangkan bacteria diperlukan untuk sembuh luka. (answer: yes. good bacteria is essential for wounds to heal but during healing, bad bacteria may also come in contact with the skin so it is a good measure to add in a small amount of antibac as to protect the wound area from infection). Yeah.

Parut!


Boleh ilangkan parut ke ubat nie? Em boleh buang toksin ke kalu letak bawah tapak kaki? (Ni bukan Japanese patch la haha).

Macam2 soalan. Creative sangat. Hahaha sampai pening gue. Siap ade yg tanya boleh tak kalau makan chitogel ni. Bahaya tak. Hummm. Org suh tampal buat ubat, dia nak makan pulok. Adohh. Makan la kalu berani. Gahahahha.

Tadi lecturer unimas datang dgn Dr K. Dr zainab namanya. Pernah dengar dia punya lecture pasal sago fiber yg fire resistant. Hehe. Dr k cakap macam nie.

"Ha, boleh la viva terus,"

I was a bit shocked. Viva? Wow. Adakah Dr ini external sv aku? Curiouser and curiouser. Dr Zainab pun suruh aku explain apa research aku. Aku explain pongpangpongpang pahtu dia senyum2 je. Hahahah. Dr Zainab kata. Ha bolehla minor correction. Nada gurau. Hehe. Ye dok dia ni external saya viva nie. Debor puloks. If it is true, then okay la sebab dia sangat baik. Peramah. Kelakar. And all that.

Semoga dipermudahkan.



Depan Kinokuniya, KLCC (4 December 2015)

Thursday, December 03, 2015

The Awkward Moment when...

I think being a lecturer suits me the most. Coz I really enjoy teaching. Not to say that I am good at explaining things per se, but I can deliver what I want to the people asking me. Albeit at times I tend to lose focus and didn't understand what my supervisor says becauee I went spacing out that eventually feeling all embarrassed when caught red-handed. Muwaahahaha!




Preparing samples for Pecipta 2015.



First trial, memang tak jadi. Mujur decide nak buat second gellan gum solution. Harap menang GOLD la nanti Dr ye? Heheheh. 






Kawan-kawan yang menceriakan hidupku dikala merasa sedih dan gundah gulana. Kawan-kawan yg tidak mengharapkan apa2 kebendaan (read: expect anything of me) but sincere friendship and companionship, which are I hope, to be reciprocal. Sekadar meng-selfiekan diri kami pon da cukup bagus dan best. Hikhik. 







The awkward moment when being asked by sv;



"So you stay single ke nanti nak fly UK?"




Lolsssss.... Muka jadi pelik dah. Mampu gelak je. Dahla depan aku tu ada Bella ngan Helmi. :(




But I think I am getting more mature in facing that question. Though for some it might feel revolting to be asked like that in front of fellow friends, I could still maintain my cool and proceed with my doing. Hehe. :)





Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Kalau dah namanya

Kalau dah namanya manusia, kau pasti akan terluka. Kalau dah namanya manusia, kau pasti akan merasa sedih. Kalau dah namanya manusia, akan tiba masa hatimu akan terguris. Jangan ingat dunia ni tempat bersuka ria sahaja. Ingatlah akhirat yg abadi. Huhu. Jagalah batas pergaulan. Jangan sombong. Selalu muhasabah diri. Jangan terlalu merendah diri. Hargai dirimu. Sayangi dirimu sebelum kamu mahu disayangi. Berfikiran jauh dan senantiasa maju ke depan.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.

Followers