Monday, January 25, 2016


The fact that how much songs could affect my mental state is really baffling. Huhu. Yeah that's me. Even when I am weird, I am happy this way.

I am that kind of person who loves to associate a song to an incident or event. Sometimes, I would assign a song to a person. Is it weird? Whenever I overhear that particular song emanating from the radio or whenever my friends play the song on the lappy, I would abruptly be taken to remember the person or incident associated to it. And most of the time, my life felt like a montage, complete with the suitable song to perfectly define each moment. That's probably how our brains work, they connect sound with particular things (image, event, person, incident etc) as to help us retrieve those memories when needed. If you had come across the Japanese drama on neuroscience, Mr Brain, you would comprehend this better. Just like they way Nakagawa Masaru associated the sound of piano to the memory of him and his sister spending the night looking at the stars in the night skies, people can also link certain music or sound to painful memory.

Surprisingly, not only sounds or music that can do this, smells work too.

When we were little, we often associated smell with a person, a pet, a home or an incident. That's how much the memories are connected by scents. Foggy memories can simply be sharpened by this stimuli. It is miraculous how scents can trigger even the very oldest memory locked away inside your brain. For example, if you smell the air after the rain, the memory of your mom cooking when you are small can suddenly come to light. That's because when we are little, we tend to latch the incident that happened at that particular moment with the smell that came about at that time. Remember the cartoon Ratatouille when the food critic, Anton Ego was suddenly taken back to his childhood memory of eating his mom's awesome cooking after nibbling on the first bite of the vegetable dish call Ratatouille. But in that case, the taste and smell of food both brought back his memory. 

Just now, went out to eat with friends. Thought of giving them treat, but Kak Mirah overtake dulu hahha. The main reason was that I looked sour in the face so she thought that she was the one who should pay. Hmm at last, the luncheon was on her. Bella and Kak Mirah kept on pestering me into telling them what made me look so moody and so serious. Yeah I must admit even my best friend could sense that gloomy black cloud hovering above my head when we were spending our time last Saturday. She kept ranting so many times about how sad I looked and I always had these moments when I spaced out too much. It's like your body was there but not the soul. I apologized, trying to convince her that that particular demeanor had got nothing to do with her - like at all. Maybe all those overthinking made me pensive and passive that I tend to be oblivious of my surrounding.

Hummm. It seems like when I feel sad, people can easily sense it. It seems like I am so very not good in masking all the feelings inside that those things just came out blatantly radiating from my face. Nevertheless, it feels good when we finally realized that people around us are aware of us, that they could take the hint from our appearances, our mood, our auras. And I am happy to have friends who are like that. They are keen to know about my well-being and would feel weird if I behave the way out of the norm. Yeah usually when with them I would be happy, cheeky, loud, gediks yeah you name it. But recently, I am clouded with too many things in my mind that I ended up being miserable and restless. I talked little and clench all those bad things to myself. 

Maybe after this, need to work for this miserable feeling. Gotta make yourself happier. 

p/s: even when listening to Exo songs doesn't really revive my perkiness. It was a lame attempt of escapism. 

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mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.