Sometimes we cannot help but become who we are because of past experiences which had battered us so bad they leave irrevocable scars. Those scars cannot even be seen, let alone to be healed easily. The scars are locked inside soooooo deep they kind of soldered with the soul. These bad memories consume you from inside and make you unable to live normal, even when most of the times people expect you to. It's hard. Even when everybody says, life sucks for all of us, other people don't understand the pain we experience. Try be emphatic, you'll end up fooling yourself. My shoes are not your shoes. They won't fit. To Allah we return. Hold still and believe in Him. He'll do you justice.