Thursday, June 30, 2016

baking for raya


i am not so into cooking, but when needed, i'll be there for you to fill in the order. achewah. kalau bukan kerana digesa (my mom suruh), memang la tak de nye nak rela hati buat kuih raya nie. hehe. anak2 kena ada filial pity, kene taat. haaa... baru berkat hidup. lagi2 ngan mak. sacred mak nie. jangan main2.

so tahun ni kene lah buat 2-3 jenis biskut. hm. thinking about trying this chocolate almond cookies.

credit to makcikmangoosten

300 gm tepung naik sendiri.*
250 gm butter.
250 gm coklat masakan.
190 gm gula halus
1 biji telur.
200 gm tepung jagung.*
2 tbsp serbuk koko.*
200 gm badam flakes
1 tsp  essen vanilla
***Ayak semua bahan-bahan yang bertanda bintang.

Pukul gula dan butter& esen vanilla hingga kembang
Masukkan telur,coklat(cairkan) dan pukul lagi hingga adunan sebati.
Kemudian masukkan bahan -bahan yang telah diayak tadi dan gaul& uli hingga sebati.
Akhir sekali masukkan badam dan uli lagi hingga sekata.
Masukkan adunan kedalam plastik dan bentukkan empat segi memanjang seperti foto dibawah ni.
Simpan dalam peti sejuk hingga keras.
Keluarkan dan potong mengikut ketebalan yang dikehendaki.
Bakar hingga masak.....Selamat mencuba:)

Saturday, June 25, 2016


Reading Murakami makes me wanna go back to my olden days.

Hoping that someone at that moment would have said something like,

Jannah, follow your dream. Believe in your dream. Be strong. Listen to your heart. don't follow other's dream.

You know your aptitude and your own limit.

Go for what you've been dreaming of.

Do not bend to public opinion. Have your own opinion. Stand by your own belief. Don't let other's saying or judgment change your decisions. Don't let other people cloud your judgment on your future.

Coz your happiness is your right. Happiness is a choice.

Be free, and be happy.

But alas, you cannot ever go back to the past.... you realize the cold truth and being abruptly pulled away from your sunken dream.

they call me baepsae.....
ah stop nagging me to try,
you make me cringe from head to toe,

"Baepsae/ crow-tits means try-hard. It is also used to call someone who ruins themselves by trying to imitate/copy people who are better than them. It comes from the saying 뱁새가 황새 걸음을 걸으면 가랑이 가 찢어진다 meaning “If a crow-tit walks like a stork, it will tear its legs” 

The song is trying to say that people are born into a set position in society, and if people like crow-tits(lower class) try to become like storks (upper class), they'll end up failing. BTS is trying to say that even if they were born as crow-tits, they will still work hard to overcome societal boundaries and try to make a society where people are equal and social standing isn't based on pre-set conditions that are unchangeable."

most of BTS songs are definitely my jams coz the lyrics come from their heart and they are based on the harsh reality of life. i've never been more touched than this. i found myself being able to relate to their songs. hats off to Rap Monster, Suga and J-Hope who had crafted such beautiful lyrics.

Thursday, June 23, 2016


Wey bulan puase ni betul ke syaitan kene rantai?

"Aah yelah. Kan ade dalam hadis?"

Ye ke? Habis tu nape ade je kes rompak, kes samun, zina, clubbing, hisap rokok, ngepong awek, minum arak etc? Bukan ke sebab hasutan setan ke?

"Ha. Tu bukan sebab setan. Tu sume datang dari diri sendiri. Setan dalam diri. Nafsu."

Nafsu? Setan dalam diri? Apekebendanye konfius bak ang.

"Bila datang bulan puasa, setan semua dirantai. Diikat. Yang tinggal dalam diri manusia adalah akal dan nafsunya sahaja. Setan tak boleh nak hasut, tak boleh nak influence dah. Yg tinggal nafsunya semata. Nafsu ini hanya boleh ditundukkan jika manusia berpuasa dengan ikhlas dan betul2 mengharapkan redha Allah swt. Nafsu yg mutmainnah. Tak buat menda haram tak tengok mende haram. Tapi, disebabkan banyak manusia yg nafsunya sudah ditempa dengan berbagai bentuk kejahatan dan kemaksiatan even sebelum masuk bulan ramadhan lagi, nafsu yg sama terbawa2 ke bulan puase ni. Bila akal ditenggelami nafsu makanya timbul la macam2 insiden jenayah walaupun di bulan puase. So, by default or by right, memang bukan salah setan dah la dalam case nie. Kiranya tu semua salah manusia tu sendiri. Ade paham?"

Angguk-angguk. Tanda setuju.

The moment of terror when you realize it's not Satan who nudge you into doing bad deeds in ramadhan, it's actually YOU yourself.

Syaitan itu bukan sahaja di kalangan jin. Malahan syaitan juga ada dari kalangan manusia. Tahukah kamu maksud syaitan itu ialah apa2 yg menjauhkan diri kamu dari berbuat kebaikan?

When, for instance, you ask a friend to go to the mosque with you then he said,

"Tak payah lah bajet alim pegi masjid. Ade tournament DOTA malam ni."

So your friend could be a satan. Gahaha.. lols.

Fikir fikirkan......

my whisperer

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

the revival of uncle sam.

jam menunjukkan pukul 6.15 pm. kucapai henfon asusku lalu whatsapp uncle sam teksi yg sebelumnya sudah kuhubungi,

"uncle, saya da sampai ni. betul2 kat depan seven E."

10 saat kemudian dia membalas,

"ye, sekejap. jalan jam nie."

aku terus berdiri di depan seven e sambil memegang plastik berisi air mineral dan muffin coklat beserta jajan green peas. jajan kegemaran adik gue. agak janggal bila memegang plastik makanan di bulan puasa. mujurlah masa tu dah hampir waktu berbuka. mataku melilau mencari teksi uncle sam yang femes ala2 femes amos. mujur sahaja leherku tidak memanjang seperti zirafah dek kerana menjengah2 kelibat beliau. seminit dua berlalu. uncle sam pun muncul. kutarik nafas lega.

"jemputlah naik impala ku," ujar uncle sam. (lols) soheh takmo turun dari teksi kalu sam winchester yg drive weweweeee~

aku pun melabuhkan punggung ke seat belakang teksi. aku riba beg merah kiplingku dan meletakkan plastik makanan di kaki. beg faux leather warna brown ku sisipkan ke sebelah kanan aku. aku senyum kepada reflection uncle sam dalam rearview window. uncle sam pun senyum kembali.

"apartment ***** universiti ***** ye uncle." (nama dirahsiakan)

teksi kuning itu pun terus menderam ke simpang luar stesen komuter. banyak sungguh kenderaan, getusku dalam hati saat melihat trafik yg sibuk.

"awak student ke?"

uncle sam memecahkan kesunyian. the air trembled with his voice, breaking the calming silence we had just now (okay mode menulis in english ON).

"yeah. but not student here."

uncle sam nodded. he smiled.

"i know from the first glance you are not from here. not a degree student either. i figured this much that you are a visitor."

he continued. he surely had such confidence in his speech. and sure he is someone who loves having small talk, something i don't find amusing myself. small talk is such a pain in the ass. you gotta level yourself with some strangers and had to have hard time finding suitable topic of conversation. it's almost impossible to avoid awkwardness. to me, at least.

"i am familiar with all students here, u know?"

err. UKNOW Yunho? (lol)

uncle sam continued,

"so you are either a postgrad student or come to visit. am i right?"

i nodded. he surely talked a lot. the yellow car was slowly traversing the four-lane asphalt due to the heavy traffic. it was surely a hectic road. and our conversation continued to fill in the stillness inside the humble cab.

"what's your name, if I may..."


i replied.

"how old are you?"

"27 year old."


i nodded. 

"when you gonna get married? you must have male friends right?"

i started to get uneasy. the smile i had on my face gradually fainted away. some stranger suddenly shoot you with a personal question. so whaddaya expect me to feel?

"no, i don't know many male friends in my school."

i grinned forcefully while tilting my sight to my left. my face started to contort with sense of displease, which i could hardly suppress. like when you try to shove all your one-week worth of clothing and other things into one tiny small backpack. 

"you got brother? or older sister?"

i stared him back into the rear-view mirror, trying to pull a straight face.

"my brother got married just last year. he was 29 at that time."

there was a forced tone in my voice. i went from looking at him to tilting my head away in a split second. 

"oh, 29. that's old age already. to get married i mean."

i made a poker face, trying to make an indifferent stance for once. for men, it's okay if they'd get married at 39 or 45. to me at least. so my brother getting married at 29 is normal i think. men - they usually stall their marriage in order to build a stable empire first of all other things. even women do the same. only probably in a different manner.

"you just imagine. if you get married at, urmmm, let say 35, your child will be at best 1 year-old when you are 36. it's not good lah..."

i sensed a hint of judgmental tone in his reply. by then, i felt slightly irritated. i am usually stoic about this matter but that day, i just can't help but feeling annoyed. was i hormonal? i know what he said was nothing but truth. but still, it's something personal to me. personally, that matter shouldn't ever be brought up in the first place let alone by someone you just met.

"you see, jannah. maybe you're too garang (that you don't get to have male friend and/ or boyfriend)"

see? another judgmental statement from him. i saw his reflection grinning at me. my face was sour at that time but i forced a light smile. nevertheless, inside, i was burning. 


get a hold of yourself jannah. don't go bursting into fire just yet. i did have a thought about giving a statement as to justify why i haven't met my other half yet and why i have little to no male friends or trying to knock some sense regarding fate/destiny into his head but i abstain myself. just cool it jannah. no need to go for a silly fight. don't sink to his level.

then there was an awkward silence. i kept my lips taut, the same thing i tried to do with my anger. at that time i was absorbed in my own thoughts. my brain was soaked with a purge of monthly hormones that i had this inner struggle, trying  to make sense from such vexing experience i was having. there were so many things that got mucked up inside that i went into a pensive state.

yeah i know people are all in the search for their other half. just like what i read from Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami, about how Aristotle came up with a philosophy on how we humans are initially made of male/male, female/male and female/male halves until one day God cut us clean to two and we all have to go on the search for the other half. i get it at female/male part yet still cannot brain the male/male and female/female part. i am really not a fan of LGBT though. in this life, we are definitely looking for something, something only we know, and finally we'd be settling down with what we have been searching and hopefully live life contently.

"tell me jannah, how'd you know a guy is good or not?" he suddenly opened his mouth while making a turn to the left road at a junction.

what? you giving me a quiz old man? it was out of the blue.

"you mean, men?

i asked him while trying to keep my cool. again, i could detect that he was kind of testing my social skills and whatnot. i was a bit mentally challenged at that time. i don't like being given rhetorical question. i could hint that that question was rhetorical due to his tone. 

"no. either one. man or woman."

he corrected me while having this deadass serious face on.

"hm, i don't know. maybe i need to get to know him. befriend him, see how he talks, see how he faces problem. see how could he get mad. blablabla,"

i don't remember what gibberish i said after that. i didn't put much thought in answering his question. neither did it bother me - getting to know men that is. coz i don't find myself liking to make friends with men. men are mean you know. i don't like men. they objectify women. and they are deadass bold in speaking. i donno i just have this kind of stereotype over men in toto. that's how much i surmised. based on past experience that is. even if i had to deal with men, i tried to keep everything professional, no special ties whatsoever.

and i thought it was not like a MCQ, you know like the one in exam sheets when you can have elaborated answers instead of keying in A B C or D. but it turned out like it was MCQ. like it had to have only one definite answer.

"no. you're wrong. you can know a man or woman just by their first impression."

what the hack, are you kidding me ojisan? i screamed in my heart.

"yes. it's true jannah. by looking at you at first glance i could tell how you are and what you are right away."

saying as if he knew i was in the state of disbelief. surely it was apparent due to the puckered lips and twitched brows on my face. i always have hard time to mask my feelings. those things would easily curve on my face when i go into state of shock or befuddlement. he tried to emphasize his point by nodding several time. to that i say malarkey, hogwash, balderdash. but those words echoed in my mind only. just trying to make out for the vocabs i gathered all this while regarding anything nonsense. needless to say, everybody knows what first impression means and how far it can go. looks can be deceiving you know?

just like when you see cute V, nobody would expect he has such a low & deep graveling voice which is akin to a manly 40-year-old's who'd drive 18-wheeler truck. 

"like when i saw you. i know right away what kind of person you are."

i rolled my eyes. was he a mind reader? or can he read people? is he psychic or what? 

i actually don't like being ogled. hearing his answer, i kind of felt like he'd been observing me since the very first moment i clambered into the cab. there's no way he is a mind reader. some people just love to claim that they are good at reading people, but they are actually just shooting blanks. in another sense, they love to describe people based on a concept of generalization. i used to be like that but my friends don't really appreciate that talent even when i correctly describe people based on what they appear to be. indeed, most people won't thank you for reading them. it's like trespassing into their private territory, guarded by high fence of pride. i don't like to be read like a book as a matter of fact, particularly by strangers. well, does anyone?

what made me a bit disgusted is how ignorant people could be when it comes to asking such sensitive question. i don't think the ones asking are concerned about me. instead, they are just trying to judge me and try to knock their own brand of principles into me instead of trying to understand what reality really is. i might look reserved at most of the times, but it doesn't mean that such nonchalance will not wobble when provoked. i could also be affable, but people tend to patronize me, perhaps testing how resilient I could be. i don't mind talking about it, it's just some of these days i hope people respect my privacy, as much as i'd do with theirs.

p/s: somehow the episode reminds me of the first chapter from Haruki Murakami's 1Q84 when Aomame was riding a taxi and had this conversation with the friendly driver. only that in mine, there was no Sinfonietta orchestra breaking the stillness of air. Instead, the air was filled with the staleness of classic indifference and reek of judgmental words. 

(maybe i gotta learn to burn it all to the ground just like Fire song by BTS. burn all those prejudice and chauvinism to dusts).


kita bakorr jew!

P/s: how poignant the irony of life is when i hate people generalizing me while at the same time i am having my own sweet time generalizing men. So no wonder what goes around comes around. Actually, my tendency to stereotype men is due to the sickening episode of my childhood which had inflicted me with irrevocable scars. The scars were so deep they formed a massive hole inside, causing me to build a shell so hard no ordinary people could easily crash and burn. I am truthfully sad as to see how my life is so full of ironies. I don't even know what to make of myself.

empty upstairs

never knew there is Murakami's reference in BTS' Butterfly for Namjoon's part. 
and to think i am even digging this book right now. lols. coincidence? who knows?

there you go. after murakami, i'll be boiling inside a bowl of delicious hot chicken soup. for my soul. uhuks.


am i empty upstairs? am i stupid or what? people say those with AB blood types are either complete genius or complete idiot. am i a genius? i think i am the latter. lols. 

take an example from a BTS interview:

Q) What do you think of each other’s personalities? Who do you think is the strangest member? 
All: V! 
Suga: Everyone says this but people with blood type AB are either a complete genius or a complete idiot. He’s both. (lol)


let it be genius or a total idiot, you just gotta be you.

Monday, June 20, 2016

please don't kiss my ass.


khamis lepas pergi lawat adik kat UNITEN. sambil2 tu singgah kat USIM sekejap amik borang sambung belajar. dua2 semangat outing sebab decide nak sewa kereta instead of pegi dengan oppa. lepas pegi USIM, singgah jap Nilai 3 si Koyah nak beli tikar. dengan aku skali terbeli cadar patchwork lols. talking about unplanned purchase. yelah dah mende tu murah RM45 je. kalau kat sini maunya RM70 at least (time promotion plak tu). guilty pleasure. kat umah tu da berkoyan2 cadar, tapi nafsu punye pasal nak jugak beli adoiii.

lepas meroyan kat Nilai 3, aku ngan Koyah pegi Mid Valley sebab niat nak habiskan baucer buku. baucer dia ada dalam RM250 - untouched. rapmon, why you say to jimin you got no jams? there were jams that day. gahahaha! seriously kuat sungguh jasad orang yang berpuasa nie. orang yg tak puasa pulak letih kene drive dalam jam. lols. perut masuk angin sebab tak makan sahur yang proper. dengan jam jalan and tersilap masuk lorong masa nak pegi Mid memang mencabar minda. gahaha. padahal da pakai waze ngan google map. cuma aku memang jenis tunggu second hand driver nye order even when aku sendiri dah dengar si waze tu bossing me around. sebab kadang2 suare waze lemau (campur accent merapu) makanya aku tak berapa nak dengar hence aku mengharap si navigator (koyah) would amplify its voice. lambat skit, memang terlepas ler exit nak oi. masa kat mid, aku drag je kaki aku dalam MPH sebab dah start migraine dah kepala aku nie. aku cuba gagahkan jugak diri aku ni demi sebab nak cari buku. memang berbaloi sebab banyak buku2 yang menarik kat MPH Mid Valley tu. tetapi, yang tak syioknye, buleh pulak masa nak bayar kat kaunter ahjushhi tu cakap,

"Dik, yang ni takde cop UMT. tak boleh guna ni."

sambil bagi balik sekeping baucer buku tak bercop. aduh pakcik ni, seketul tu je tak de cop. dahla serial number tu berturutan dan dia dah cek dalam sistem memang ada. amik jelah. why sweat small stuffs? 


terpaksalah aku bayar guna RM50 note lepas supervisor dia datang confirm balik sekeping tu tak bleh guna. lol. duh people. stop being pedantic will you?

lepas tu masa on the way balik ke UNITEN, jalan dah la jam. pahtu masa wading through the river of cars, aku dengar bunyi "DEGANG!!". i was shocked for a while. and to my terror, i saw a man behind me getting out of his car. by the sight of his guilty stance, i figured that he had hit the car. i then stopped my car, shift to park and went out of the car. my heart was beating with horror to know someone had just kissed my bumper!!! argh it was kereta sewa ottoke???? camne kalu remuk gile?? mampus gue nak membayar ganti rugi. but when i went outside, luckily it was just a little graze. the chinese man said, "sorry sorry, it was slight bump." i heaved a big relief to see the bumper unharmed. i then slightly raised my voice and complained, "kerete sewa nie tau, ha.." with a slightly awkward grin on my face. i don't know how else to show my feeling of displease. i didn't even know how to be mad. am i a tolerant person? just several years ago the similar incident happened when a man bumped into the left side of the passenger door of my father's car. i just smiled and had this unknown feeling. anger mixed with befuddlement. those combination of feelings didn't even come out to be apparent on my face. i really need to show my real feelings after this. i really need to be transparent. not to say that being mad is good, but being mad is important in certain cases.

she was like, "Nor, biar aku drive la." after the indian brother gave us the car. i hesitated for a while but thinking that this could be a training for her, i let her drive. after highway LEKAS, i took turn driving. she was quite good at driving and her skills somehow improved a lot. kudos sister!

dekat 10 minit pusing mid nak cari parking. tak semena-mena dapat hadiah migraine.

books i gathered at MPH. kafka on the shore looks interesting though. kind of a page turner. i am currently diving in the world of Kafka. another delicately crafted piece by murakami i must say.

 later that night after maghrib, we went to eat WONG SOLO, an indonesian eatery knowing she had this preference for spicy javanese dishes. so delicious my sister went there again the very next day with her friends. 

posing in front of apartment murni UNITEN. 

breaking fast with fat brother aka oppa, muka lain2 belaka. orang tengok mesti ingat kawan2. hey we are siblings!

masa tunggu bas kul 11. hamik kau sejam duduk tunggu bas sesorang dahla lewat malam mujur TBS ramai orang. and mujur ada kafka on the shore. boleh la buat teman. habis jugak satu chapter setengah jam duduk kat situ.

k lah bai.... nak sambung dengar Perfect Man cover by BTS. lols...

Monday, June 13, 2016


What is gonna become of me. I feel like being engulfed in dark cloud, trapped in the maze, lost and being too afraid to search for the exit. My legs become numb and I felt like I am being chained up into the hard ground. Nobody is there for me to reach. I screamed but the voice didn't come out. It just echoes inside my head, struggling to find ways out, while scrambling my brains and pokes around like hell. Having blurry visions, it felt like the walk is so fragile, like having to balance yourself on a thread hanging from two ends of high peaks with the blazing fire down below. There's no way back. I just need to keep moving. No matter how hard and how obscure the path in front, I gotta pull myself together. No matter how ambiguous your state may be, just deal with the pain of not knowing what's waiting for you out there. You must embrace yourself and convince yourself that helps are coming your way, even in the most unidentifiable manners. Just go with the flow, no matter how harsh. Just withstand with the gushing winds, no matter how wobbly the walk may become.

Just do it.

footnote: why am I feeling underappreciated? feels like every attempt to please them never worked out well. of all good things I did, only bad things seem to emerge. I am lying if I say I am not sad. maybe after this I must stop expecting others to recognize me or to appreciate me. I have to think of impressing Allah and Allah only. then only I will be happy. Living without expectations from people is the hardest yet the calmest and the best. Coz you won't give a damn on what people say or feel about you. IDGAF.

p/s: malam ni sakit perut kaw2. Allah da kabulkan doa aku mintak cuci perut sehabis boleh. tengok doa bulan pose kan makbul. hmm...

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Something to hold on to

Jammy went home and grabbed her phone. She then had her headphones on. The banging songs from her favorite songs were heard from 1 meter distance. And yet she always asked people why did her ears hurt so much. Lol.

She casually picked user-defined equalizer from the music software, enabling her to have her own distinct brand of sound instead of the preset equalizers. Jammy always appreciate good music. To her, music is like a therapy. The more meaningful the song is, the more she could be into it. Jammy also felt like a quality song should have not only catchy tunes but also good lyrics to deliver to the audience. Once she got hold of one good song, she'd cling on to it and hit replay button like crazy and that could absolutely drive anyone else crazy.

She was banging her head so hard in the air, going back and forth like crazy. She got easily absorbed in the world of music. People used to say that music is poison. Is it? Coz she could spend hours and hours of listening to the same songs. Sometimes, she'd be so engrossed she didn't bother indulging in music in bed for the whole day. Crazy again.

At times, she tried to force others into liking her songs. Hahaha. That's way too crazy cuz you cannot force people to like your song. Everyone has their own wavelengths. Please respect that.

But then again, I think music is something like an escapism from the harsh of life. It's something to hold on to. But be careful not to be consumed by music for the prizefight of the loud banging sounds is tinnitus. You sure wouldn't wanna have that.

and they say laughter is the best kind of music

Friday, June 10, 2016


What is krump? Krump is a style of street dance that emphasizes emotions of dancers in every delicately designed dance move. Yeah lets groove.

Min yoongi took role as the father in the group. He is one strict and serious person who'd speak straightforward if other members do mistakes or displease him. He also does fatherly chores like fixing the toilet, replacing lightbulbs and repair other broken things. Funny how he doesn't like noises when the rest of the members were awfully loud. He composes a lot until he'd sacrifice his sleep time. Often he'd stay up after 12 AM and went to sleep after 5 AM. Understandable, because to be able to build up fresh ideas and search for muse and inspiration, early morning is the best time to be at. That's why he was seen to have a common stance of sleepy head, a symbol of lethargy from a hardworking role as a dad. yoongi really assumed a great role of a dad. Haha.

Jin on the other hand is a skilful mother of the group. He cooks well and can tolerate those multiple idiosyncrasies of the members, especially those of V and Kookie. Often he is portrayed as having high level of patience when dealing with the members, a quality akin to a loving mother. He really can take care of other members and always be there for them. What's funny is that he really enjoys eating until one of the staffs called him pig because of the way he gobble the food until his mouth was bulging and kinda distorted his handsome face lols.

Okay lets talk about older siblings. Monnie  is like their older brother who always break things around him (god of destruction). He could act dorky at times but only when triggered or when others propagated at the first place. He is one funny brother but sensitive at heart. On the other hand, Hobi plays a role as a big sister as he'd nag if members won't do laundry, for example. He'd go around in the dorm and will boss around the members to do the chores, like a big sister would do. He really did a great job there. Hobi is also a brilliant mood maker as he'd crack  spontaneous jokes hence bursting laughter amongst the members.

Okay lets take a look at younger siblings who knows nothing but to be mischievous and playful all the time. HHahaha. All hail to Jimin, V and Kookie (based on descending order of age). These three are so loud and they are always the starters in making loud noise around the dorm. When together, they'd film  their hyungs and jump around and making  loud noises until father Min Yoongi couldn't sleep. Often Mommy Jin and Father yoongi sit together and tried to figure out ways to silence those kids who'd go on rampage 24 seven. Lols. Somehow it's funny how these 3 are afraid to tease Father yoongi who'd run amok if being disturbed while sleeping. Gahaha..... kookie is one naughty youngest member. He'd bully his hyungs to no end. Lolss... even being the maknae of the group, he has this strong physique which makes him formidable to other members.hahaha.  he could even lift his hyungs like they were some sacks of rice lols. I always enjoy watching V and Kookie synchronized idiosyncrasies, something not easy to see between other members.

That's all rants about BTS members. Hahha... I don't even know why I like their personalities that much.

Thursday, June 09, 2016


Ampunkan dosaku.
Dosa kedua ibu bapaku.
Rahmati dan kasihi mereka seperti mereka kasihi aku.
Terimalah taubatku Ya Allah.
Permudahkanlah rezekiku.
Permudahkanlah urusanku.
Jauhkan aku dari sikap riak dan takabbur.
Lindungi kami dari azab kubur dan api neraka.
Berikan kami husnul khotimah...
Jauhkan dari suk ul khotimah.
Sihatkan tubuh badanku.
Jauhkan aku dr api neraka.
Permudahkan jodoh dan jadikanlah jodohku itu penyejuk mata penenang jiwa.

Dan selamatkan aku dr dosa2 besar. Dan tetapkanlah hati ini dengan iman.

Tuesday, June 07, 2016


Let's jump!! Jump to the sky!!

Bulan puase ni jom kita tingkatkan amalan. Don't look back. Always seek to improve yourself. Even when you have mounts of sins, Allah's forgiveness never is limited. Always think positive of all things.

Lesson learnt: nobody will bring you happiness. You yourself are responsible for your own happiness. There is a saying that if one is unhappy when being single, don't expect to be happy once getting married. Jannah. Be happy with your life. No matter how hard it may seem.

I used to be removing all those bad memories from my mind. Like trying to think in the way that as if those bad and painful episodes of life never happened to me. Like I'm creating another dimension of life and see myself as another being in another less harmful parallel universe. Wow so much for tbbt references. The postulated alternate universes. Intriguing. Thanks Dr Cooper.

But when I got problems, those bad memories suddenly pop up out of nowhere. I tend to rewind those bad memories, as if I suddenly got off the wagon from the rail of my alternate dimension to that of the real dimension/universe. It's so hurtful. It seems like the pretense won't last long. Cos bad memories will always serve as bad memories. No more no less.

Nevertheless, always seek to perceive things in a good way. Please be positive. Life is not all sweet all good. You need to embrace the cold truth....

P/s; i started listening to Bangtan Boys because of their upbeat songs and catchy sounds until i realized their lyrics were so powerful they could move you. It is indeed amazing most people can actually relate to those lyrics which were penned by the members themselves. The song titled Jump especially touches my heart in a fantastic way coz i somehow could feel a strong connection with the lyrics. I heart Bangtan Sonyeondan....



puasa tahun ni ada perubahan diet sikit. masa buka puasa minum air banyak2. lepas tu semayang. lepas semayang magrib baru makan nasi. sebab nak clearkan perut.


Thursday, June 02, 2016

Wedding Si Dentist

majlis sambut menantu nadia le dentist. kan da kata mu kawen dulu mekya. ahahaha. barakallah... semoga bahagia ke jannah. ameen.

Jun 2, 2016.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.