What is gonna become of me. I feel like being engulfed in dark cloud, trapped in the maze, lost and being too afraid to search for the exit. My legs become numb and I felt like I am being chained up into the hard ground. Nobody is there for me to reach. I screamed but the voice didn't come out. It just echoes inside my head, struggling to find ways out, while scrambling my brains and pokes around like hell. Having blurry visions, it felt like the walk is so fragile, like having to balance yourself on a thread hanging from two ends of high peaks with the blazing fire down below. There's no way back. I just need to keep moving. No matter how hard and how obscure the path in front, I gotta pull myself together. No matter how ambiguous your state may be, just deal with the pain of not knowing what's waiting for you out there. You must embrace yourself and convince yourself that helps are coming your way, even in the most unidentifiable manners. Just go with the flow, no matter how harsh. Just withstand with the gushing winds, no matter how wobbly the walk may become.
Just do it.
footnote: why am I feeling underappreciated? feels like every attempt to please them never worked out well. of all good things I did, only bad things seem to emerge. I am lying if I say I am not sad. maybe after this I must stop expecting others to recognize me or to appreciate me. I have to think of impressing Allah and Allah only. then only I will be happy. Living without expectations from people is the hardest yet the calmest and the best. Coz you won't give a damn on what people say or feel about you. IDGAF.
p/s: malam ni sakit perut kaw2. Allah da kabulkan doa aku mintak cuci perut sehabis boleh. tengok doa bulan pose kan makbul. hmm...