Saturday, July 23, 2016

Attack on brownies pt. 2

☕Brownies kali ni aku tambah walnut cincang. Eh cincang ke tumbuk. Hihi. Tumbuk kot. Sampai ade debu tu. Lols. Buat utk majlis raya mama esok. Potluck katanya. So mama request anak dia buat dessert. 


Ya allah. Masa baking bau manis dia da boleh drive org diabetic crazy. Haha. Manis mak aih satu umah semut urung. Takpayah nak exaggerate sangat boleh x. Hmm.

this is rupa brownies batter sebelum masuk oven

tada!!!! da siap membakarrr cengginilah hasilnya. yipppie!!!

Ni tgh tggu dia sejuk baru nak taruk elok2 dalam fridge. Hehe. Yeke bagus stor brownies dalam peti. Kalu letak kat room temperature tak jadi fresh ke brownies kite. Sapa nak jawab sila komen. 

P/s: from a quick reading, i figured that brownies need not be stored in fridge to ensure its freshness. It's fine just putting it in a tight container and store at room temperature overnight. Katanya makan selepas semalaman jadi makin sedap. Lagi satu, makin kuat kedut brownies, makin sedap rasenya. Wallahuallam tu dakwaan puok2 hok bese wak brownies. Hehe. Harapnya sedaplah. Dahla ade kacang otak yg awesome tu. Hikhik. 👏😄

Friday, July 22, 2016

Amalan perut sihat

Baru2 ni pegi berubat sakit perut dengan moknab. Rumah dia kat merchang. Ade lah dalam 1 jam lebih perjalanan dari gong badak. Dia urut pakai minyak nyior pastu bagi air tawar. Then suruh aku cari putik limau nipis utk kemam sebagai ubat angin. Alhamdulilah, sejak amal apa yg dia suh, mmg da okay elimination system aku. Hehe. Tapi siyes ubat dia tu yakni putik limau tu panas. Bila makan badan dehydrated. Bangun pagi xyah bother to void the bladder. Lols. Hmm. Ubat2 traditional ni aku prasan mostly ubat panas. So kene compensate air dalam badan. Dia banyak pakai air utk healing process tu. Hihi.
Lagi satu ubat kuat utk constipation is daun muda gelenggang. Tumbuk and campur ngan kapur, barut di perut. Mmg clear jalan berduri dalam usus. Hehe.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Attack on bangtan brownies

Since i am quite obsessed with brownies and bangtan, i named my brownies as "the bangtan brownies". Yohohohohooho *gaya Brook OnePiece*

Actually sedap if guna sparuh milk choc separuh dark choc macam hari tu. Tapi Kali ni aku guna milk choc sepenuhnya utk brownies ni. Gotta use half dark choc and half milk choc next time around.

Saturday, July 16, 2016


 from this to this lols. 

People say life changes us. And with all the modern world challenges we see and face everyday, people are now becoming more and more stressed and more pressurized that they lose the true essence of being true human. They lack compassion, empathy, sympathy and honesty. The way we make out of tests in life all depends on how we face (read: attitude) the adversity in life at the first place. It all relies on how we are made of inside (mentality) and how we perceive the tests and ponder on its purposes and implications on ourselves at the very end of the day (logical reasoning).

Just take a potato and an egg for example. When we put both inside hot boiling water, look at what happens. Potato will boil to form soft mushy fillings whereas the egg will become white and hardened. These are two very different final forms even when the condition they were put in was the same. Therefore we can say that what is inside will determine the outlet or final form. What is built inside us after years of living will become an outlet to what may come at the end even when we were given the same pressure. We can choose what to become or how to react after going through all forms of the hardship based on what we were made of (mentality). We can be either stronger or weaker after facing difficulties. It all depends on your mind set actually. But each and everyone of us is unique so we cannot say all of us will become the same after going through the same path. Our upbringing, mental state and spiritual strength are all setting us apart from one another. But what's truly important is, to be able to become stronger after each hurdle of life and to be able to feel more passion and love to spread positivity to other people. Let's all live to give benefit to others.

P/s: you need to be boiled for you to benefit others. You need to sacrifice for your true potential to unveil. That's why you put that tea bag inside hot water before you get to put in sugar and drink it as a soothing beverage. If you simply throw that teabag inside the cup and add nothing, can you sip the sweetness of the tea? No right? Another analogy so that you get what i mean.


Thursday, July 14, 2016

curse this obsession.

Have you ever stumbled upon something which makes you feel both blessed and cursed? 

People say love is like that. It makes you obsessed and have an irrevocable addiction. And love is a broad concept. Love towards people, love towards life and love to many other things which may come in between (such as music). Love is probably reciprocal to the hunger in men. And hunger can come in many forms (not restricted to food only) - one can be hungry for attention, hungry for touch/love, hungry for power/dominance, hungry for money etc. To me, obsession is so dangerous. Whenever I got obsessed, I can stay awake for hours indulging myself in that particular thing I was obsessing about.

Am I a hikikomuri and/ or otaku?

I'm probably akin to the people in Japanese movie Uzumaki. Obsessed people in the story were all gradually becoming crazy. Obsession is something dangerous. It eats you from inside. It makes you care about nothing else in this world. It gets you preoccupied and leave you dissolved in your own little world. Nothing can quench that thirst. You just keep wanting more. Like the way dopamine works, it spurs your inner desire into wanting more and more. And the deeper you got into that forest of desire, the more you realize that each next thing you stumble must be more appealing and more enjoying than the last. And before you realize it, the will to discover more of it is growing bigger and the intensity was crazily amplifying. You end up digging and digging more of it. But the hole just gets bigger, as if nothing would ever do the good job filling it in. There's just no end to your obsession. Just see how many great people who were driven to lunatics as they dive into their world of obsessions. Obsessions could be good at time as it could help people laser-focus into solving the problems. And being absorbed in things can make you become more open to other alternatives and make you more creative in solving problem. But obsession can also lead you into becoming oblivious about other important things in life that you eventually risk losing a lot.

Obsession kills.


feel like going somewhere farr away, away from all people..... i wish i can be invisible,

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Two Mix

suka tengok gaya pompuan nie. walaupun dia watak fiksyen dalam kartun Conan. haha.

i like tomboy style. but i am still a girly girl inside. wearing this kind of clothing is like putting a sort of outer shell as a defense mechanism to avoid public persecution. coz women wearing too revealing clothing will only make men perceive them as nothing but as objects.



Allah swt sangat baik. Bila kita ni banyak dose pon, dia masih makbulkan doa2 kita. Allah maha pengasih dan penyayang. Pintu keampunan untuk hamba-Nya sentiasa terbuka luas...cuma kita je sombong. Malas nak berdoa. Doa masa susah je. Sbb tu kene bersyukur time Dia bagi susah. Dia tahu kau hanya cari Dia time susah. Kalu boleh susah senang pon kene cari Dia sokmo. Susah senang ke cuba cakap dengan Dia. Mengadu hal dengan Dia. Orang lain tak care ke mung kalu mu ngadu hal ke orang lain. Dia dengar ucapan langsung mahupun bisikan hati yg tersembunyi. Bersangka baiklah dengan Allah. Yakin dgn rancangan-Nya. Sabar. Usaha dan ttawakkal in sha Allah berjaya.

raya tak habis

 aik, angpa semua pun nak beraya jugak ka? hahahhaa... lols jimin!

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Mimpi Gila #2

There I was, standing at the top of the peak. The wind was strong. It was gushing from all directions, making me staggering, unstable. Below me was black water. Scary water. A water that has that will to eat you and never let anyone survive once drowning. It was as if I was at the top of the Niagara fall. It felt like the height could have reached up to 100 feet. 

The peak was so high that it gave me a chill down my spine. I am not someone who is afraid of height coz i can simply climb a scaffold for a flying fox without even a hint of fear, unlike some of my friends who'd clutch to the rusty handle steel bars begging for their dear life wanting to stop from resuming those steps. But that time, i was trembling with fear. I tried to scream, but my voice couldn't find it's way out. It echoed and bounced inside while amplifying the terror inside me, making me feel fragile and vulnerable. But at some point, the peak seemed to change to become like an old iron scaffold, the one you usually see at a construction site. 

And down at the bottom of the scaffold, i could vaguely see the presence of people i love, i guess it was mom, dad and my siblings. They looked worried sick, as if they know what would be happening to me up top. I could not force my eyes down as the fear of height started to take control. And by the time I realized they were all racing to my rescue, I was having a meltdown - my body was no longer mine. My feet collapsed into the air and i was helpless. As I was hearing the sounds of their distraught screaming together with their heavy footsteps clattering against the rusty iron structure of that scaffold, I was falling. Well this is it. I am gonna die. That's what i thought at that moment. However when i was free falling, someone had grabbed me. That was the very moment i woke up to realize that that was a dream. That someone who became my savior, i cannot particularly remember who it was. It was a guy. I couldn't even configure his face. 

I didn't think it was my dad, nor my brothers. It was weird. That mysterious guy kind of reminded me of another dream i was having when i went to the beach with a guy with no face. I kept on seeing his back. And zero memory on how he looked. It is indeed a bizarre experience, even for a dream.

Mimpi Gila #1

I had this weird dream just now. It was terrifying. I was paying a chinese cashier at a counter when we suddenly had an argument after a stupid bickering. How we ended up with a fight is somewhat undecipherable. How could I be so bold and pick a bone with some strangers? Too mind-numbing. She then refused to give me my balance money. I then scolded her in a way that other customers could see. Well, you know how customers are always right. It was quite a commotion. She then looked like she was having a psychotic break. She ran off to somewhere and showed no signal of coming back. I hurriedly took my balance from cash register and scurried away from the scene. 

Don't know why but my instinct told me so. Some kind of signal rushed my body to flee. When i was out of the shopping arena and was on my way to the car, i saw that woman coming out into the crowd with a meat knife. I was terrified to see the horrendous sight. Did our quarrel just now sent her to the mountain of crazy? Or did she just ran off to grab that knife to kill me or what?my mind was attacked with those sorts of questions. I quickly went behind a big pillar trying to hide with all those heavy groceries. I was trembling all over. Sweats dripping like crazyy. Am i gonna die? I thought. I rubbed my chest, trying to calm down. I tried to peep. From what I saw, the woman went into the crowd with that protruding piece of steel but nobody seemed to be bothered by her. But she definitely didn't seem stable. Suddenly she randomly attacked the public people! Oh no this woman just went crazy. Oh no oh my god help me!! It was so scary. I tried to squeeze through that ocean of people with all of my belongings dragging me. They were so heavy. Whenever i saw that woman turning, i tried ducking. I figured she must have been looking for me, the one who led her to her tremendous psychotic break. Then amidst the havoc, i got to escape to the cinema which is near the exit. I then bumped into a tall man wearing a blue jacket and shouted, "beware, crazy woman!!" I then scurried away and relieved to have escaped the terrible scene. I remember that man was looking all dumbfounded after my warning..maybe to him, it was me who was the crazy one, if he were to judge me based on how silly i looked at that ttime. Sweats dripping, pale face, panicked stance, wobbling walks and all that. 

I didn't know the rest of the story. But to be sure, i was safe from being carved by a lunatic. Phew. I heaved a big relief. Then i realized it was all a dream. I woke up and was i felt so happy that that was a mere dream. It was surreal, to be honest. It was plausible to happen in real life. And that's why i was rattled by the incident even while i was experiencing it. Spooky the dream is.....

Open your heart

I am an introvert. I don't really fancy small talks and i love to be absorbed in my own thought. Coz small talks are ... i dunnow how to put it. Vexing? But even when i am at it, i still cannot eat alone. I cannot bear the thought of having to have my meal all by myself. Even when i am an introvert, i enjoy close friends' companions, especially when i am having my decent meal. I'd rather eat in a confined room all alone instead of eating alone in a crowd. I enjoy conversations especially intellectual ones, but i find in more relishing to be able to have such conversations with the ones i am comfortable with. Yes, we are loyal people. But as said here, we introverts find it quite hard to move on. Even when we may seem distant and lonely, but we make good friends. Confide in introverts, and you'll find it so pleasant as we could be the bestest kind of friends. Relationships with introverts are for a lifetime. Agree much?

Monday, July 11, 2016

cat beg bag gab gibberish wtf

today, i am a loner. everyone was out: school, works, school again. i was left alone with some mushroom soup and cute cheese sticks which i ate for breakfast at 6.30 am. i also had porridge for breakfast and morning break (lols). i didn't care for lunch but when it goes past 2.30 pm, my tummy started rumbling hence the escape to the kitchen. i was cooking some fishball soup and frying some fish all alone in the kitchen while humming my favourite song. then i was settled down to have my decent lunch when i heard him coming in.


duh, it was like he knew i just did my lunch. he casually walked in a settled by the scale in front of the bathroom. i thought i could just ignore him but that pitiful hungry look on his feline face got me disturbed. there is some part of the fish in my plate which is also for him - that thought echoed in my head. i then snapped the head of the fish and hurled it over to le cat. he was looking at me and meowed some more before finally gobbling that little fish head. i then resumed eating my meal while watching Rookie King Episode 7 Eng Sub ( hardcore fan of BTS). i could crack into laughter and laugh like a crazy woman watching their dorky acts. BTS is so funny. deadass hilarious!!! i always enjoy watching media while eating. even when lotsa people i met told me it won't make you feel full to two-time while eating, i never give a damn. hahah! we even used to read comics while eating and the crumbs of our bread had always stuck in between those pages lols.

then after i finished my lunch, i saw him drawing near me. he was standing at my feet while making a cute face, a face that tells you that he was still hungry. oh damn. cats really can give you that dewy-eyed look and melt you heart. it's one of the specialties of cats, a powerful persuasive gesture. i grabbed half of another fish and put down at his feet and he devoured it in split second. i myself had another helping for the fish. then when i was washing the dish, he was there standing at the wooden floor with his eyes staring into mine. i smiled and asked,

wanna have some more (fish)?

he didn't respond, nor did he meow back. he kept on staring at me with a loving gaze, as if wanting to tell something. but he couldn't. he usually would meow or give that slow blink as a form of response (aside from a sign of trust) but this time nothing came. i was a bit befuddled. he usually responded as a way of saying thank you master for feeding me i'll pray for your safety and health. his stance was a bit gloomy. maybe he understood how lonely i was. thanks Dido. people might think i am crazy for trying to get approval from animals. am I?

No. crazy is hearing voices, talking to cats, dating paula abdul (Superhero movie).

but i am not crazy. everyone in this house talks to cats. and cats also talk back to us, in their own way of course. (LMFAO)

i always had been dreaming of having a coach bag which looked pretty much like this one. but i will need to pay through my nose. rm1000 is too much for a simple bag like this. well it's coach, what do you expect. here in malaysia with the all the taxes make it impossible for students like me to buy the simplest bag of coach. sigh.

my bag symbolizes who i am. i am simple i guess. look at the design and the colour. to me it's okay if the price is cheap as long as it looks expensive hahaahh! and what's important is that it looked a replica of coach. ngihngihngih *evil snickering*

style i love.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.