Thursday, July 14, 2016

curse this obsession.

Have you ever stumbled upon something which makes you feel both blessed and cursed? 

People say love is like that. It makes you obsessed and have an irrevocable addiction. And love is a broad concept. Love towards people, love towards life and love to many other things which may come in between (such as music). Love is probably reciprocal to the hunger in men. And hunger can come in many forms (not restricted to food only) - one can be hungry for attention, hungry for touch/love, hungry for power/dominance, hungry for money etc. To me, obsession is so dangerous. Whenever I got obsessed, I can stay awake for hours indulging myself in that particular thing I was obsessing about.

Am I a hikikomuri and/ or otaku?

I'm probably akin to the people in Japanese movie Uzumaki. Obsessed people in the story were all gradually becoming crazy. Obsession is something dangerous. It eats you from inside. It makes you care about nothing else in this world. It gets you preoccupied and leave you dissolved in your own little world. Nothing can quench that thirst. You just keep wanting more. Like the way dopamine works, it spurs your inner desire into wanting more and more. And the deeper you got into that forest of desire, the more you realize that each next thing you stumble must be more appealing and more enjoying than the last. And before you realize it, the will to discover more of it is growing bigger and the intensity was crazily amplifying. You end up digging and digging more of it. But the hole just gets bigger, as if nothing would ever do the good job filling it in. There's just no end to your obsession. Just see how many great people who were driven to lunatics as they dive into their world of obsessions. Obsessions could be good at time as it could help people laser-focus into solving the problems. And being absorbed in things can make you become more open to other alternatives and make you more creative in solving problem. But obsession can also lead you into becoming oblivious about other important things in life that you eventually risk losing a lot.

Obsession kills.


feel like going somewhere farr away, away from all people..... i wish i can be invisible,

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mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.