Friday, August 12, 2016

Heart Broken

When you have been living so long in your comfort zone and you finally make your way out of it to realize how crooked you are. You become so locked down that you refused to open up and try to socialize better. You let your low self esteem lock you deeper and you are trapped inside the sandquick: the more you struggle the more you drown. You got so sensitive even when people criticize you in front of other peers that you feel this pinch at the top of your lung. You feel like screaming and wailing out of despair but you can't do so cos you're still mixed in crowd and expected to behave the best. On top of it, you feel like running away to the woods and live like a loser with no ties to humans whatsoever. I used to become so fond of human interaction, how people mingle around and make relationship. But there are also risks in that. The risk to be hurt and the risk to be judged. The risk to be sidelined and marginalized just because you're different. The risk of losing yourself just because you try so hard to bend to public opinions. You may be welcome inside the troop but you will have to scrape away some of your principles and  lose some of your values. I tried my best to get out of my comfort zone but this is what i get for trying. Am I a try-hard?

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mellow melodies

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