Wednesday, September 28, 2016

cypher killer

The sky was filled with striking lightning.  As i was awake, i saw the light striking terror and fear into my heart as it flashes into the enclosed cave we call a bus. The bus was traversing through the darkness and it suddenly drizzled outside. I took my earphones and stuffed them into my ears trying to avoid harboring further fear from the scene.

My heart was filled with mixed feelings. How the meeting is going to be. How do i start our conversation. How would i make good first impression. Statistically speaking, it was a cogent feeling of worry since i was always giving off negative vibe during any first meeting with anyone i ever met.
I really want to improve myself. One of the ways could be changing the way i contort my face in front of other people. Rather than scowling and frowning, better curve a benevolent smile (not anyway awkward or demeaning) which can invite a lot of people into befriending you. Right? I really need to learn to control my facial expressions. Physiognomy is a field or discipline which i found to be very much interesting. It deals with the fact that the way you look can actually change the way other people treat you. Not saying that physical look is everything. But it does serve as a starting point before anything else gets started. It kind of give off a little summary about who you really all. Above all, good personality can be a cherry on top to your whole persona.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Demeaning Demian

When your fav boyband spearheaded by the tall brainiac with iq 148 got you mindfucked with the concept behind the coming second album this imminent october prompting you to get a copy of demian to read yet you don't wanna buy on9 book to avoid the pain of waiting and get the pdf file (one peachsoda shared on Twitter) printed instead. And you still have to struggle to read each word since the format of pdf is no frigging way comfortable to read. Rip my eyes. By the way what kind of fandom that teaches you to read some random english novel to understand their comeback. Lols. This is too epic. Or maybe stupid? But i think it's just random madness. Wahahhahaha!! #demian #bts #boysmeetevil

i know all this while you have been reading demian. hurmm.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

of black pepper and baggy pants

hi yuols. hari ni main masak2 jom!

my dish was inspired from one of the posts in facebook. ala2 ikan kukus makanan orang lepah pantang. ouch. tapi sedap je. sebab ada my favourite spice: BLACK PEPPER!

1) perap ikan aye dengan paste bawang putih + lada hitam + garam. tunggu setengah jam.

2) panaskan periuk. tuang minyak zaitun dalam 5 sudu beso. masukkan ikan2 yang diperam. tabur lada sulah dengan serbuk halia. tutup periuk

3) dalam 1 minit kemudian, masukkan halia ketuk (1 inci) diikuti asam keping untuk elak hanyir. then masukkan hirisan carrot. sedap sebab karot tu lembut. macam ubi.

4) biar reneh. balik2kan ikan. tunggu sampai separuh masak.

5) bila da nak dekat hangus ikan kau, tambah air setengah cawan. biar reneh. dalam 5 minit.

6) biar air kering. then masukkan setengah cawan air yg dilarutkan bersama tepung jagung setengah sudu besar. biar berkuah la sikit.

7) reneh seketika. then siap!!!! sedia dimakan. huwa huwa huwa!

Mudah je kan? Yehet!

swag much? huh?

kat mane eh nak cari baggy pants macam nie. 
haha terpengaruh ngan jungkook lols...

kbai. gonna continue ruining my life with bts

Sunday, September 18, 2016


In Tengo’s words (about his father)

“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you are living a different kind of life there. In a world that is inside you.”

Haruki murakami 1q84.

What i love about reading books is how we'd be able to find something to relate our life with. The authors had been there and done that and we get to be in their shoes for a while and make us appreciate the fact that we are all humans who experience the similar things in our life. In this life, We are indeed looking for something (EURYTHMICS - Sweet Dreams) and we are all live in a series of tests. Through this life we may use and/or get used by other.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Turn around

Often i hear people say,

if only i can turn back time

I'll change a lot of things

I'll correct all the wrong things I did

And take another path instead

Take that other road not taken

One which can make me realize my true self with precious serendipity

Instead of taking the design path, I'll take the desire path people would think twice before choosing

Being deviant in any circumstance is so hard

Having to defy the society norm which pushes us to take safer route to ensure stable future

What is stable future anyway? What's in your eyes is not same as in mine.

We view worlds from a different vantage point. So what's the use of comparing.

We are even all different in every way. You can do what I can't and i can do what you can't.  Accept your aptitude. Deal with your own pitfalls. That's how the attitude should be.

Why would we deny the other road not taken?

Why don't consider the opportunity people are too afraid to chase?

Why don't go follow what your heart says?

If only I had the courage

If only I had the strength

If only I had the capacity

I could've shown my truest ability

Using my mental clarity

And my utmost capability

To awaken my serenity

And eventually achieve my tranquility

Living in my own shoes instead of others's shoes

Vexing much it hurts so hard


Regret is dangerous and destructive

Regret is the force that could undermine your future and present

Just roll with punches

Sometimes it's hard not to feel regret

Regret, remorse - they are powerful enough to drag you down

Still, regret is necessary tool to make the better you

So that you won't repeat nor reiterate

The same bloody steps which make you you who you regret

the stigma of first love

in the reflection of a lie. caught in a lie.

the pain of the past is carving my heart.

the fierce blood splattered, soaking me in despair.

while worries and fear are chunked to madness.

which grows to a vicious wrecking ball

dangling in frantic,

and hitting every corner of the head.

throwing me to little bits and pieces.

i'm scattered.

i'm mangled.

my first love is a lie.

don't lie, don't cry, just say bye bye.

first love.

mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.