Thursday, April 27, 2017


i figured that you cannot be honest with everyone. sometimes, that honesty can turn to naivety, in which people can use it against you and for their own advantage. never spill the beans to everyone, some may be hostile towards you. you don't know who will be holding grudges against you. you must stay put and quiet, do things you plan. never tell others unless you have worked them out. stand on your own feet. be proud of your own feat. fret not, believe in what you wanna do. be happy to be you.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

korean food craze

terbayang-bayang enaknya sotong masak pedas kat Busan Jib hari tu masa pegi Korea. sedapnya ya Allah. kecur saliva haha. hari ni rajen skit so i pulled out a recipe off the web to cook this dish for lunch. it was simply delicious!

Korean Recipe : Spicy Fried Squid

Bahan - bahan :

6 ekor sotong ( dibersihkan dan dipotong )
1 biji bawang besar ( potong gegelang )
4 ulas bawang putih ( ditumbuk )
1 biji cili hijau ( potong memanjang )
1 batang daun bawang ( potong kasar )
1 biji tomato muda ( dibelah )
Bahan Sos :
2 sb cili paste
1 sb serbuk cili
2 sb sos soya
1 sb gula
2 sk minyak bijan
1/2 sk bijan
1/2 sk serbuk lada hitam
Cara - cara :
1. Campurkan semua bahan termasuk bahan sos dalam 1 mangkuk.gaul rata. perap 30min.

2. Selepas 30min, panaskan pan, masukkan semua adunan tadi. masak hingga kuah pekat. siap..


Saturday, April 15, 2017

Personality Test

you have been affected by negative emotions and are eager to resolve something which has been bugging you for a long time. you need to calm down and relax.

wow it reads me like a book!

My Result:

You have a uniquely creative personality!

The main things in life for you are your intuition, wisdom, joy, satisfaction and curiosity. The world for you is full of mystery, and is made up of so many different things, situations and people which are all constantly stimulating your imagination. Your life is painted in a multitude of beautiful colours, and you're always looking at it through the prism of creativity. You can turn anything that happens to you into something positive, and you never look for simple answers to life's questions.

You live your life in constant anticipation of experiencing something new and wonderful. However, at the moment you feel a lot of aggression inside. It's possible that recently you've been experiencing a lot of negative emotions and have the desire to finally resolve something that's been bugging you for a long time. You need to calm down and relax. The time has come to do something new. You have the ability to draw a huge amount of strength from yourself, whilst at the same time remaining a tender and loving person


Friday, April 14, 2017

Tanda Pada Tubuh

Image result for dopamine tattoo

semalam layan Conan. walau cerita kanak2, aku dapat belajar banyak dari cite conan. seriously. lagi banyak daripada drama malay yg haprak tu. maaf cakaplah.

ada satu kes, sorang pakar bedah masuk ofis detective mouri. lepas tu conan nampak tangan doktor tu ada kesan torehan, macam org dalam bilik bedah biasa pegang benang suture tu masa nak jahit luka bedah. sebab tu conan boleh teka orang tu kerja sebagai pakar bedah sebelum org tu declare dia kerja sebagai apa. conan memang hebat. peka je dengan sekecik2 mende. haha. tapi hebat lagi tuhan yg cipta kita.

bottomline aku kat sini, dalam hidup ni, apa2 yg kita buat, akan tinggal kesan pada tubuh kita. 

macam kes tadi, mark benang tu membuktikan pekerjaan dia sebagai seorang pakar bedah. maka, sekecil-kecil benda akan tinggalkan tanda pada tubuh kita, sama ada besar atau kecil, sama ada kita sedar atau tak.

wa man yakmal miskola zarrotin khoiran yaroh. wa man yakmal miskola zarrotin syarron yaroh. 

tu baru cakap pasal benang, dan kesannya hanya pada fizikal. menda-menda lain yang lebih besar, seperti apa yang kita rasa, kita sebut, kita buat, akan juga beri kesan pada rohani kita. yang ni kita tak boleh nampak, kita just bleh rasa kesannya. macam tu lah dengan amalan kita atas dunia ni. kalau banyak amal baik, kesan baik la yang akan banyak badan kita simpan atau encoded. dan begitulah sebaliknya. cuma mende tu encrypted, ALLAH je tahu kat mana data tu seme disimpan. kita kan org Islam, percaya malaikat hari2 duk tulis dosa pahala kiri kanan bahu ni. "that angel on your shoulder" - phrase ni banyak disebut dalam cerita2 mat salleh, Supernatural contohnya. ajaran semua agama percaya, buat mende baik dapat balasan baik. kan?

apa kita kata, kita sebut, kita dengar, akan beri kesan kepada kita melalui getaran atau wavelength bunyi. macam dengar ayat quran, mende baik, dengar dapat pahala. dengar lagu BTS?! ahahahha. wallahuallam. tu semua lagho okay? aku admit, aku memang tahu lagho, tapi aku sangat suka BTS. apa2 la KPOP ke MPOP ke JPOP seme tu lalai lah. tapi gtulah bak kata kawan aku, kita manusia, fitrah mau berhibur. berhibur tak mengapa, asal tak halang kita dari ibadah, dan pilihlah hiburan yg baik. :)

sampai di sini luahan aku. 

menulis itu terapi.


(image - dopamine tattoo)

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Period of Happy Days (PhD)

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How many times have I asked myself: Why? Why  am I doing a PhD? Why have I embarked on this journey of constant challenges? Why have I allowed MS Word and printed papers to become such a big part of my life? Why?

I am sure I am not the only doctoral researcher who asked this question at some stage during the PhD. And this is normal…in fact this is great! We should ask this question more often to try to gain better understanding of what we do and the world we live in…

I was thinking a lot about the answer to this questions. And my answer to this question is simpler than I thought. I do it….to be happy!!! Do you remember that feeling of happiness when you learnt that you were accepted for a PhD programme? How happy did you feel when you shared your experiences with other PhD students? Or when your first conference paper was accepted?.. I felt happy yesterday when I was presenting some of the results of my research at an ESCalate seminar. Yes, I felt happy and grateful that I could just share my experience, my vision, the results of my work with others. I felt grateful that there were PhD supervisors in the audience who listened to my perceptions as a PhD student. And you never know, it might have influenced their vision of a supervision process…at least a bit. And it means it might potentially change the life of other PhD students who are working with these supervisors. Yes…bigger picture…there is always a bigger picture behind your small limited piece of research…you just need to learn to see it. So why are we avoiding happiness? It’s time to take all opportunities and make decisions, to do our best and give the best to the world, time to be happy…

I’ve recently been through a PhD/existential crisis myself, time when you question everything and feel lost…And this was the time when one wise person told me: You are where you are for a reason! You are given an opportunity! Benefit from it!

If you feel depressed, trapped and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Remember, we are where we are for a reason! We are here to challenge ourselves, to change ourselves and the world, to learn, to share and care through our research…

Let’s be grateful for this, for this life changing opportunity!

Posted on June 17, 2011 by elenaphd

taken from:

This happened exactly to me, in fact it is still happening. That turbulence in me is no joke. It's like a tsunami of mixed feelings. I also stumbled a wise person in my life throughout this painful journey of soul-crushing hurdle. That particular wise person in my life is Erma Fatiha. Thanks Erma. That article above really reflected  my feeling now. In fact my bestie Dzilal Amir also encouraged me. Not to mention my mom and dad and my sister. But now I am having trouble in my heart, the heart and the brain are not synchronized. ottoke? i am meshed inside. so broken so damaged. what is there for me to do?

Selalu terjaga dalam pukul 4-5. Macam Allah nak suh aku bangun berdoa and./or tahajjud. Dia tahu how restless I am right now. Hopeless, restless, overwhelmed. I am having the biggest internal battle of my life -- ALONE.

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Image result for depressed illustration

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every night

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mellow melodies

where you can reach me.

where you can reach me.